Classified Information!
by SushiBomb
Summary: DISCONTINUED. Random facts, quirks, dirty little secrets, private thoughts, OOC moments, embarrassing habits...Everything you could have ever wanted to know about everyone in KHR in 50 sentences. Rated for Language, Themes, and content.
1. Prince Belphegor

A/N: Hey all, this is Sushi*Bomb! So this idea came to me after I realized that I have been totally bitch-slapped by writer's block. It's heavily based off of a couple of fics I've read in this and other fandoms (They're both in my favorites. You'll know them when you see them, and I give credit to them both for giving me this idea!) This little fic is just a place for me to lay out all of my ideas, and to get a much needed laugh. Please enjoy it!

Genre: Humor/Drama

Warnings: Language & Themes

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Prince Belphegor!

* * *

1. Prince Belphegor has exactly 720 knives, and he polishes them everyday at 10 A.M. on the dot.

2. Prince Belphegor has dyed his hair every color you can think of. At least once.

3. Prince Belphegor bakes the most incredible chocolate chip cookies you will ever have the pleasure of putting in your face.

4. Prince Belphegor always sleeps on the right side of his bed.

5. Prince Belphegor loves to sing dirty songs in the shower. Loudly.

6. Prince Belphegor would rather wait for the movie to come out than to read the book.

7. Prince Belphegor can play the violin, piano, and acoustic guitar.

8. Prince Belphegor likes to chase cockroaches and step on them until they're just smears on the ground.

9. Prince Belphegor has a reported I.Q. of 193. The highest in Europe.

10. Prince Belphegor is deathly allergic to bananas.

11. Prince Belphegor is a compulsive shopaholic.

12. Prince Belphegor was the first member of the Varia to lose his virginity. But he won't ever tell anyone to whom.

13. Prince Belphegor drinks milk straight from the carton.

14. Prince Belphegor has three piercings. An industrial on his left ear, his bellybutton, and his…

15. Prince Belphegor will burst out laughing if you look at him with a stern face and say 'nugget porn'.

16. Prince Belphegor had a huge crush on Squalo when he was fifteen.

17. Prince Belphegor enjoys walking around the castle in various states of undress.

18. Prince Belphegor always paints his nails black on his birthday. Always.

19. Prince Belphegor's favorite T.V. show is Dexter.

20. Prince Belphegor hates the word squash.

21. Prince Belphegor can turn a simple massage into the most intense orgasm of your life. Yeah. He's **that** good with his hands.

22. Prince Belphegor used to be an insomniac.

23. Prince Belphegor refers to himself as 'the prince' so he doesn't ever forget who he was before he cracked.

24. Prince Belphegor is one hell of a raver.

25. Prince Belphegor cut mink's hair to look like his.

26. Prince Belphegor is fluent in seven languages.

27. Prince Belphegor loves putting people in extremely awkward situations for his own amusement.

28. Prince Belphegor can say the alphabet backwards without stopping to think about it even once.

29. Prince Belphegor has the biggest porn stash in the Varia.

30. Prince Belphegor is bisexual, and not ashamed to admit it.

31. Prince Belphegor pisses on his parent's graves every year.

32. Prince Belphegor can tie a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue.

33. Prince Belphegor thinks Sci-Fi movies are comedy gold.

34. Prince Belphegor hates it when Fran calls him a fake prince.

35. Prince Belphegor was the one who french kissed Xanxus at the New Year's party when the lights went out.

36. Prince Belphegor is not above using his body to get what he wants.

37. Prince Belphegor is an angry drunk.

38. Prince Belphegor wants to fuck the hell out of Hayato Gokudera.

39. Prince Belphegor has a surprisingly beautiful singing voice.

40. Prince Belphegor is in love with an illusion.

41. Prince Belphegor thinks meatballs are freaking gross.

42. Prince Belphegor got his first tattoo when he was seventeen.

43. Prince Belphegor always spells the word cinnamon wrong. He can't figure out why.

44. Prince Belphegor cries about not being allowed to drive his sexy Ferrari anymore.

45. Prince Belphegor has gotten off on stabbing someone to death. Many times.

46. Prince Belphegor has a blood fetish.

47. Prince Belphegor will never tell anyone why he killed them all.

48. Prince Belphegor has eyes so light that at times they look almost white. His brother's were so dark that they looked black.

49. Prince Belphegor feels guilty about that night, but not guilty enough to say he wouldn't do it again.

50. Prince Belphegor both thanks them and blames them for the birth of Prince the Ripper.

* * *

I really shouldn't start another story when I'm already writing to others, but I was working on P.O.A., and I got stuck, and this just started flowing out, and I ended having a blast writing it. I think I'm definitely going to do one for everyone in KHR, not just the Varia.

So? Tell me what you think! Read and Review!


	2. Fran

A/N: This story is so much fun! Welcome to Chapter 2 of Classified Information! As I said before, this story is my way of battling the dreaded Writer's Block, by just laying down all of the ideas I can think of in 50 sentences, whether they be funny, sad, disturbing, sexy, etc. And it's actually working superbly. I should have the next Chapter of P.O.A. up by this weekend!

On that note, it's Fran's turn, because after Bel, Fran's my favorite. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Yeah, yeah.

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Fran!

* * *

1. Fran has never exercised a day in his life.

2. Fran was the kid that nobody talked to at school. Everyone knew that 'that weird kid can make you see some scary shit when he's mad. '

3. Fran likes to take scalding hot showers, because the steam makes him incredibly horny for some reason.

4. Fran is the only person to have ever outwitted Bel.

5. Fran gets a sadistic pleasure out of making people think Levi is a pedophile.

6. Fran LOVES chocolate pudding. Don't it eat in front of him unless you want to get jumped. Seriously. He'll suck it right out of your mouth.

7. Fran is directionally challenged.

8. Fran ran away from the orphanage because he'd rather live on the streets than with those horrible people.

9. Fran hates sitting still for too long. He gets fidgety.

10. Fran is the only person on Earth that can cook water and succeed in burning it.

11. Fran's favorite band is Muse. He's convinced Matthew Belamy is the voice of God.

12. Fran is a closet adrenaline junkie.

13. Fran is on a first name basis with every officer on Italy's highway patrol.

14. Fran loves coconut-flavored everything.

15. Fran has gotten food poisoning in every country he's been to.

16. Fran _can_ feel pain. He's honed his poker face to perfection so that no one will see that he feels it more than anything else.

17. Fran has had to sell himself to survive. Not that he'll ever tell anyone.

18. Fran will stop calling Bel a fake prince when_ he_ stops calling him Mammon's replacement.

19. Fran is awful at math. And at chemistry. Boo.

20. Fran randomly freestyles when he's drunk. And he's actually quite a brilliant lyricist.

21. Fran can be a manipulative little bastard when he wants to be.

22. Fran was the one who set Lussuria's pink feather boa on fire that one year.

23. Fran is severely arachnophobic.

24. Fran screams like a little girl. Especially when Squalo throws fake spiders at him so he'll stop talking.

25. Fran is the only person to have ever made Rokudo Mukuro see heaven.

26. Fran doesn't really mind the big Froggy hat. He thinks it's kind of cute.

27. Fran is an avid reader.

28. Fran absolutely **sucks** at talking to girls, but somehow always get one to come home with him when the Varia go out partying.

29. Fran is older than he looks.

30. Fran gets inexplicably irritated when he sees polka dots.

31. Fran is a vegetarian. He's seen too many dead animals on the street to even think about eating meat anymore.

32. Fran masturbates every single day. At least once. It's his favorite way of both escaping…and remembering.

33. Fran met Mammon in her adult form along time ago when he was really small. He'd recognize those little tattoos anywhere. She gave him a ring with 666 engraved on it.

34. Fran has slept in a dumpster.

35. Fran can beat anyone at Dance Dance Revolution. And, naturally, at Poker.

36. Fran can't say no.

37. Fran will go out of his way to annoy Squalo because he wants to see if he can get him to turn every shade of red when he's mad.

38. Fran has a thing for footy pajamas. Don't ask.

39. Fran only had his license for three months before getting it suspended.

40. Fran can't wait to tell M.M. that everything she wants to do to Mukuro, he's **already** done. Several times, and better than she could ever hope to.

41. Fran is one of three people that knows about that one spot along Bel's hip that makes him quiver when rubbed the right way.

42. Fran thinks its fucking hilarious to rub that spot under the table at meetings and make Bel moan when Xanxus is talking.

43. Fran can make anyone laugh without trying. Even Xanxus.

44. Fran still claims that he was kidnapped by the Varia.

45. Fran threw up violently the first time the Varia forced him to mentally torture a man to death.

46. Fran occasionally smokes marijuana because it calms his mind, and helps him get a grip on reality. Only in the privacy of his room, though.

47. Fran isn't sure if he wants to know who his parents are. What kind of people could leave a child in such a cruel place?

48. Fran thanks Mukuro everyday for getting him off the streets, and for helping him learn to control his illusions.

49. Fran knows his love is unrequited, and he's okay with that.

50. Fran will never **ever** be just a replacement for Mammon. He knows it, and so does everyone else.

* * *

Wow. I think this one might end up being my favorite. I think I'm gonna do Mammon/Viper next.

Read and Review!


	3. MammonViper

A/N: Oh hai guys, S.B. here with the third Chapter for Classified Information!

First, let me just say that I am FLOORED by how many hits this story has gotten! I've already gotten almost 100 hits since Tuesday. I don't know how that measures up to other stories, but to me, that freakin rocks!

So yeah, here's Chapter 3!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn…blahblahblah

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Mammon/Viper

1. Viper is one of four true psychics in the entire world.

2. Viper is a really amazing bellydancer.

3. Viper can see ghosts.

4. Viper used to get called a witch by the other girls in her town when she was young.

5. Viper punched Skull in the face when he asked her if she could speak Parseltongue.

6. Viper hates the smell of Vanilla. It bugs the crap out of her.

7. Viper slapped Luce when they first met because like the sky arcobaleno, she knew that one day, they would all die for those accursed pacifiers. And she wanted them to go through with this anyway.

8. Viper has done tarot card readings for everyone in the Arcobaleno and in the Varia.

9. Viper scared the living daylights out of her parents when she showed them she could fly just by thinking about it.

10. Viper is a bad influence on Bel. And he loves it.

11. Viper is not ashamed to say she enjoys piggyback rides from Fon.

12. Viper has been possessed. It was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to her. Ever.

13. Viper doesn't really mind sleeping with Verde even though she finds him repulsive. He's a surprisingly good lay and he gives her a lot of money. She knows her sex is worth every penny.

14. Viper hides her face under that hood because her mother used to tell her that those blue eyes of hers would be the death of all men. The habit stuck all the way to adulthood.

15. Viper sees a lot of herself in Fran. That's why she made sure to bring the 666 Hell Ring with her the day she had foreseen them meeting. She knew he would be the one to replace her.

16. Viper loves to share a cigarette and a shot of espresso with Reborn once in a while.

17. Viper is the only person Belphegor has _ever_ said 'I love you' to.

18. Viper can't help but laugh when Skull calls her Miss Cleo in that horrid Jamaican accent, even though she wants nothing more than to tear off that bicycle chain he calls a lip piercing for making fun of her.

19. Viper realized she could create illusions when she first learned how to control and manipulate her dreams, and then eventually started doing it with reality.

20. Viper can bend a spoon with her mind.

21. Viper has a tattoo of a pit viper that wraps around her leg up to rest on her hip.

22. Viper can't cook to save her life.

23. Viper loves Luce's cookies almost as much as she loves money.

24. Viper has dabbled in Voodoo and other black arts.

25. Viper cried that day up on that moutain. It was the last time she ever would.

26. Mammon hates being called a baby.

27. Mammon let all of the guys in the Varia think she was a boy. She knew they would treat her differently if they found out she was girl.

28. Mammon thinks Squalo is deaf, and that's why he yells so much.

29. Mammon has had a soft spot for Bel ever since that night so many years ago.

30. Mammon can't believe how much Fran has grown since the day they met. He's beautiful.

31. Mammon really likes spaghetti with meaty sauce.

32. Mammon is the only member of the Varia who actually likes math.

33. Mammon finds nothing more relaxing than when Bel plays the violin for her.

34. Mammon hates watching movies with the Varia because they always talk through the whole thing, and then ask her what happened when it finishes.

35. Mammon always sits with Lussuria in the morning before everyone else wakes up and drinks coffee with him.

36. Mammon hates it when Bel makes her wear those atrocious floaties when they go to the beach.

37. Mammon loathes being put in a booster seat when the Varia goes out to restaurants.

38. Mammon is glad Fran took such good care of the Hell Ring after all of these years.

39. Mammon feels that she is vastly underrated in her abilities among the Varia.

40. Mammon never told anyone that she can read minds. Oh the blackmail…

41. Mammon loves Fran from the front and Bel from behind.

42. Mammon once laughed so hard milk came out of her nose when Fran (drunkenly) told her that her motto should be "Fuck Bitches, Get Money."

43. Mammon prefers baths to showers.

44. Mammon is the richest assassin in the mafia.

45. Mammon thinks facial hair is unattractive.

46. Mammon was thinking about changing her last name to Viper, just because she doesn't necessarily want to lose site of who she was before the Arcobaleno. Also because it sounds badass.

47. Mammon hunted down all of those bitches that tormented her when she was young, and systematically drove them insane with illusions of their worst fears.

48. Mammon can be a seductive little thing when she wants to be.

49. Mammon had never been as happy as when she realized she could go back to her original state as an illusion. She didn't know she could that.

50. Mammon Viper is back from the dead, and has two boys to take care of now instead of one.

* * *

Well…shoot. I think it's pretty obvious I had some trouble ending this one lol But oh well. I think I wanna do someone from Tsuna's group for Chapter 4. Who would you want to see next?

Leave me a review with your response please, por favor, per favore, onegai, bitte, пожалуйста, vänligen!


	4. Hibari Kyouya

A/N: Alright…so I still have my laptop. Maintenance was delayed (FAIL), so I figured I would post up the next chappy-appy while I have it.

Next up is…Hibari! Que the dancing girls! Just kidding, but enjoy the chapter because it was a bitch to write!

Disclaimer: ATTENTION! Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Reborn. That is all. Carry On.

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Hibari Kyouya!

1. Hibari Kyouya actually comes from one of the richest families in Namimori.

2. Hibari Kyouya acquired those Okinawan tonfas illegally. Smiley Face.

3. Hibari Kyouya has a weakness for strawberry mochi.

4. Hibari Kyouya spends about half the school day sleeping on the roof.

5. Hibari Kyouya gets straight A's because none of his teachers would dare to give him anything less.

6. Hibari Kyouya's parents immediately called a priest when the first word that came of their baby boy's mouth was 'death.'

7. Hibari Kyouya can't help but think dirty thoughts when he sees Dino using that whip of his.

8. Hibari Kyouya is a germophobe. Big time.

9. Hibari Kyouya isn't saying he's never fapped to the Namimori anthem… (A/N: I couldn't resist XD)

10. Hibari Kyouya was once arrested for trying to bite his father to death after an argument.

11. Hibari Kyouya shed a single prideful tear when Hibird finally learned how to sing the Namimori Anthem.

12. Hibari Kyouya refuses to admit that when Mukuro beat him, he was just a_ little_ turned on.

13. Hibari Kyouya may or may not be the psychopath that appears every winter and assaults people with snowballs filled with spikes.

14. Hibari Kyouya is a _slight_ megalomaniac. Only slightly.

15. Hibari Kyouya would totally do Chrome if it weren't for the fact that she is the vessel of that lascivious devil.

16. Hibari Kyouya gets discounts in every store and stand in the Namimori shopping district. Everyone fears and respects the Discipline Committee's authority.

17. Hibari Kyouya has occasionally used those tonfas for _more_ than fighting. Winkwink.

18. Hibari Kyouya doesn't see the resemblance between him and Fon. You're all blind.

19. Hibari Kyouya has made it one of his life's goals to fight that carnivorous little baby before he dies.

20. Hibari Kyouya doesn't like being at home. Admittedly, it gets pretty lonely when he's by himself in that big house.

21. Hibari Kyouya has been told on several occasions that he needs some serious anger management. Everyone who suggested **that** is still in a coma.

22. Hibari Kyouya has never kissed a girl.

23. Hibari Kyouya secretly nicknamed the Committee Office the "HibaLair."

24. Hibari Kyouya learned the word carnivore from one of those nature shows on National Geographic he used to watch when he was little.

25. Hibari Kyouya, when it comes to alcohol, is not just a lightweight. He's _the_ lightweight.

26. Hibari Kyouya made out with Mukuro at the Vongola Christmas party two years ago. It's something he tries to burn out of his mind everyday.

27. Hibari Kyouya said _kamikorosu_ for the first time in preschool, when another kid tried to take his legos. He promptly beat the boy over the head with a blue Star Wars lightsaber.

28. Hibari Kyouya loves taking his Kawasaki Ninja ZX™-14 for midnight rides in Tokyo.

29. Hibari Kyouya will hand you your ass at Mario Kart.

30. Hibari Kyouya won't bite you to death if you make him hamburger curry.

31. Hibari Kyouya is a third degree black belt in Kung Fu.

32. Hibari Kyouya is also trained in the arts of Judo and Ninjitsu.

33. Hibari Kyouya enjoys traditional Kabuki Theatre. He goes every weekend.

34. Hibari Kyouya is prone to frequent migraines in the summer.

35. Hibari Kyouya is ambidextrous, but mainly writes with his left hand.

36. Hibari Kyouya had childhood Asthma. He outgrew it through sheer willpower.

37. Hibari Kyouya can't tell time.

38. Hibari Kyouya also has a goldfish. Naturally, its name is Hifish.

39. Hibari Kyouya can be a bit conceited.

40. Hibari Kyouya procrastinates on school assignments.

41. Hibari Kyouya can't stand fish eggs on his sushi.

42. Hibari Kyouya knows all of the curse words in the English language.

43. Hibari Kyouya is the one who leaves food and water for the stray cats down the street from Namimori Middle School.

44. Hibari Kyouya always finds himself wondering when that No Good Tsuna stopped being such an herbivore and came to the dark side.

45. Hibari Kyouya sometimes wishes his parents would come home from whatever country they're in this month for the holidays. Just for a couple of days.

46. Hibari Kyouya brandishes those steel tonfas because he thinks he has something to prove.

47. Hibari Kyouya isn't quite sure about how he feels about being thrust into this cloud guardian crap. But he gets to fight, so who cares?

48. Hibari Kyouya is reluctant to admit he is no longer the top carnivore in Namimori anymore.

49. Hibari Kyouya is even more reluctant to admit that he knows that fact will only make him a stronger fighter in the long run.

50. Hibari Kyouya can't really explain why he loves Namimori so much. This quaint little town just makes him happy, and he'll protect that happiness with his life.

* * *

Boy oh boy…that took like a decade. I should really pay more attention to other characters besides the Varia and the Arcobaleno. LOL. Anywho, next chapter. It's between Mukuro and Gokudera. Who do you want next?

As always, read and review! Sushi*Bomb out! See ya when I see ya!


	5. Hayato Gokudera

A/N: Hey hey hey! Welcome back to Classified Information! After like a year of stalling, I** finally** finished Gokudera's chapter! TA-DAAAH! And you know, for never paying any attention to him in the show, I think this chapter came out pretty good. Yay!

So read it and love it peeps! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! If I did…hohoho it would be a whole new show. (Pr0nPr0nPr0n)

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Hayato Gokudera!

* * *

1. Hayato Gokudera has lost a lot of weight since he moved to Japan. He's still getting used to the interesting things these Japanese people eat.

2. Hayato Gokudera makes his own bombs.

3. Hayato Gokudera uses a curling iron to make the ends of his hair flip out like that. Shut up! It's his thing okay?

4. Hayato Gokudera survives by hacking into his family's bank accounts periodically and stealing a few grand. He's sure they won't notice.

5. Hayato Gokudera can't dance. He's ashamed to say he has two left feet.

6. Hayato Gokudera doesn't see anything strange about hiding in Tsuna's bushes at night. He's only protecting Jyuudaime from possible assassination!

7. Hayato Gokudera takes three showers a day. He **hates** being sweaty and/or dirty.

8. Hayato Gokudera is trying to quit smoking. He swears. He'll do it eventually. Meh…maybe not.

9. Hayato Gokudera is a bookworm.

10. Hayato Gokudera isn't sure if he fears, reveres, or despises Shamal. Maybe all three.

11. Hayato Gokudera is actually quite proud to have a rival like Yamamoto. Tell anyone and you're dead.

12. Hayato Gokudera won't ever call Yamamoto his friend, though.

13. Hayato Gokudera thinks Lambo's little cowfro is kinda cute. But he's still a stupid cow.

14. Hayato Gokudera can carry up to 500 sticks of dynamite at any given time. And no, he's not gonna tell where he stashes them.

15. Hayato Gokudera has maintained a 4.5 GPA since he was kid.

16. Hayato Gokudera goes to therapy twice a week to deal with his irrational (or not) fear of Bianchi.

17. Hayato Gokudera really does love his sister though. Her _and_ her awful cooking.

18. Hayato Gokudera gets just _a bit_ jealous of Yamamoto sometimes. Why do jocks get all the love?

19. Hayato Gokudera has memorized the entire Periodic Table of Elements.

20. Hayato Gokudera hates cartoons.

21. Hayato Gokudera could survive on ramen alone if he had to. He has no choice anyway, as it's the only thing he can make without setting his apartment on fire.

22. Hayato Gokudera reeeeaaaally loves Tsuna's mom's cooking. It's like heaven compared to his shitty, stinky ramen noodles.

23. Hayato Gokudera always wears earplugs when Ryohei is around. He doesn't want to be EXTREMELY deaf by the time he's thirty. Thank you very much.

24. Hayato Gokudera laughed out loud when Reborn pointed to the skinny kid with the spiky brown hair and told him that was the next Vongola boss.

25. Hayato Gokudera is convinced that Mukuro had to have been some sort of pedophile in a past life. He's always molesting Tsuna. Or Hibari. Whoever happens to be closer.

26. Hayato Gokudera loves hibachi style food. It's fucking amazing.

27. Hayato Gokudera has a piano in the corner of his living room. He still plays every once in a while.

28. Hayato Gokudera isn't sure why everyone calls his loyalty to Jyuudaime "puppy love." He isn't in love with Tsuna, and he certainly isn't a puppy. So why?

29. Hayato Gokudera wants to visit America at least once in his life.

30. Hayato Gokudera is aware of that knife bastard's interest (read: raging boner XD) in (for) him. He does his best to avoid him when they have any sort of interaction with the Varia.

31. Hayato Gokudera even went so far as to jump out a window once, just so he wouldn't be subject to said knife bastard's not -so -subtle advances.

32. Hayato Gokudera is a bit of a housewife. There's nothing wrong with wanting to live in a clean house.

33. Hayato Gokudera almost slapped himself when he realized he was staring at Yamamoto's nicely toned abs one day the whole group of them went to the beach.

34. Hayato Gokudera is reluctant to admit this, but **hot damn** does Yamamoto have an amazing six pack.

35. Hayato Gokudera is prone to seasonal allergies. Lame.

36. Hayato Gokudera refuses to believe he's the only one who has noticed how Haru's nipples get really hard when Tsuna's next to her. He's running out of excuses for his sudden bursts of laughter everytime she hugs him.

37. Hayato Gokudera wonders if noticing something like that makes him a pervert.

38. Hayato Gokudera loves Uri, really he does. But if this damn cat scratches him one more time, he's going to punt it into a parallel universe.

39. Hayato Gokudera is tone deaf. So he only sings when the music is too loud for anyone to hear him.

40. Hayato Gokudera can't read without his glasses.

41. Hayato Gokudera drives like a ninety-year old woman. Veeeeeerrrrrrry slowly.

42. Hayato Gokudera is also quite a talented artist.

43. Hayato Gokudera loves chick flicks. He cries everytime he watches "The Notebook."

44. Hayato Gokudera hates that he has to work his ass off to be Tsuna's right hand man, but somehow, it never seems to be enough to compete with Yamamoto's natural talent.

45. Hayato Gokudera won't admit that out of all of the Vongola Guardians, he _might_ just be the weakest. After all, he's the one who always seems to be struggling.

46. Hayato Gokudera knows that that struggle is part of what made him into the man he is today. Strong. Proud. And loyal.

47. Hayato Gokudera visits his mother's unmarked grave every few months. He's the only one that still changes the flowers.

48. Hayato Gokudera has nothing, if not the utmost respect for Reborn. None of them would be were they are now if it weren't for him.

49. Hayato Gokudera is proud to call Sawada Tsunayoshi his boss, and his best friend. He's the first person in a while who's given him a reason to be.

50. Hayato Gokudera is the Guardian of Storm and Vongola Decimo's right hand man, and everyone knows that's who he'll always be.

* * *

So there. Did you love it? Hate it? Wanna have its babies? Let me know what you thought! Read and Review Please! Sankyu!

Mukuro's up next. See ya l8r dewds. S*B is out!


	6. Rokudo Mukuro

A/N: Yay I finally finished this! Hey all, welcome back to the next chapter of Classified Information! After much indecisiveness and procrastination, I finally sat down and worked on this today. Victory!

Thanks as always to everyone who reviewed! This reminds me, I am so happy that one of my favorite authors, **Nightsmoke**, commented on this story! I feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. Thank You so much!

That being said, this chapter might be the darkest one so far…after all it is Mukuro. Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! [Insert witty joke here…I'm lazy today]

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have every wanted to know about:

Rokudo Mukuro!

* * *

1. Rokudo Mukuro doesn't understand the concept of personal space. In fact, he finds great amusement in making people (and by people, I mean Tsuna lol) extremely uncomfortable by standing just a bit _too_ close to them while they're talking.

2. Rokudo Mukuro can only see out of his regular eye.

3. Rokudo Mukuro can speak Spanish and Portuguese.

4. Rokudo Mukuro doesn't even like pineapples. Facepalm.

5. Rokudo Mukuro checks himself out every time he happens to pass a reflective surface. So he's a little narcissistic, so what?

6. Rokudo Mukuro cherishes the day he met his little Chrome. She is his, and his alone.

7. Rokudo Mukuro was in fact NOT a pedophile in a past life. He's going to punch Gokudera in face for implying otherwise.

8. Rokudo Mukuro is the pickiest eater you will ever meet in your life.

9. Rokudo Mukuro loves to take long walks on nights when it's chilly outside. It helps him clear his mind.

10. Rokudo Mukuro is a master of Astral Projection.

11. Rokudo Mukuro's past lives alternate between male and female. And human and animal. For which he is glad, because it has given him a truly unique perspective on life, among other things.

12. Rokudo Mukuro is a militant atheist. There's no such thing as God in Vindicare. Or in the mafia, for that matter.

13. Rokudo Mukuro just doesn't have the heart to tell Ken he smells like a wet dog. So he gladly let Chikusa have that honor.

14. Rokudo Mukuro is the only man on Earth that knows what it feels like to masturbate as a girl. Pervert.

15. Rokudo Mukuro has to re-read the anatomy text book he stole from the school every once in a while. It would be very sad, literally and figuratively, if Chrome died because he forgot what certain organs do.

16. Rokudo Mukuro decided to change his name to Mukuro when he moved to Japan. There was no name, he realized with a smirk, more suited for him.

17. Rokudo Mukuro wants to steal Chikusa's beanie. He's worn it before, and it looks so cute on him!

18. Rokudo Mukuro doesn't like being touched. Especially if it's Yamamoto. That kid really doesn't know his own strength.

19. Rokudo Mukuro laughs the way he does on purpose. He knows it creeps everyone out.

20. Rokudo Mukuro truly believes that revenge is the sweetest thing.

21. Rokudo Mukuro doesn't really swear often. He refuses to be placed on the same level as those neanderthals from the Varia, who make it a habit to curse like sailors.

22. Rokudo Mukuro purposely calls Belphegor 'Belphe-whore,' because that's exactly what he thinks of the blonde.

23. Rokudo Mukuro is a fiend for Lychee nuts. He could eat them all day if he really wanted to.

24. Rokudo Mukuro loves the fact that his birthday is June 9th. He knows it's no coincidence at all.

25. Rokudo Mukuro would love to face Viper in his adult form. He's been curious about the Mist Arcobaleno's abilities since the Ring Battles.

26. Rokudo Mukuro is the least technologically inclined of all of the Vongola Guardians. But who needs to know how to work an iPod when you're as awesome as Mukuro?

27. Rokudo Mukuro loves the devious little smirk that Fran tries to hide when M.M. flirts with him. He knows that he's smirking too.

28. Rokudo Mukuro felt an immediate connection with Ken and Chikusa. He knew that when he broke out of the lab, he would make damn sure to take them with him.

29. Rokudo Mukuro is more of a martini kind of guy. He's not a fan of hard liquor straight from the bottle.

30. Rokudo Mukuro knows every position in the Kama Sutra. Naturally, since he invented some of them.

31. Rokudo Mukuro hates the movie 'the Little Mermaid'. Everyone thinks it's hilarious to call him King Triton. Ha-ha.

32. Rokudo Mukuro gave Chrome her skull eye patch for her birthday. He can be nice when he feels like it.

33. Rokudo Mukuro learned how to fire a gun when he was six years old. He remembers because it was so loud he couldn't hear out of one ear for almost three days afterward.

34. Rokudo Mukuro prefers close combat rather than mid- to- long-range combat for that reason alone.

35. Rokudo Mukuro has developed a rather severe case of hydrophobia during his time in prison.

36. Rokudo Mukuro is a horrific writer. Sometimes he wonders how he managed to fool anyone in Kokuyo Middle School with his sub-par essay writing abilities.

37. Rokudo Mukuro didn't think the Devil existed, until he met him face to face. Ironically, he looks quite angelic in all white.

38. Rokudo Mukuro has a rather feminine waist. Not that he cares. He knows he's not macho at all, and he isn't trying to be!

39. Rokudo Mukuro can't eat breakfast in the morning. His stomach gets really irritated.

40. Rokudo Mukuro loves the Three Kings Saga of Yu Yu Hakusho. Naturally, Mukuro is his favorite character because she's almost as bad-ass as he is, _and _they have the same name. *Victory Sign*

41. Rokudo Mukuro loves cold showers. They're quite refreshing.

42. Rokudo Mukuro adores the way Fran's toes curl when he comes. He loves admiring the boy's preciously tainted innocence.

43. Rokudo Mukuro doesn't believe in using front doors. He prefers to 'magically appear' in the most inopportune places, at the most inconvenient times.

44. Rokudo Mukuro honestly can't remember what his mother and father even look like. All he remembers before age ten are needles, wires, cruel laughter, and crueler words.

45. Rokudo Mukuro felt true fear for the first time in his life when he realized the only way he would ever leave that watery cell was in a body bag. Or so he thought, anyway.

46. Rokudo Mukuro cried tears of joy when he slaughtered the Estraneos. He had never found the sight of blood on his hands so perfectly …beautiful.

47. Rokudo Mukuro can't help but laugh every time Hibari threatens to 'bite him to death' or whatever. He just can't take him seriously because Mukuro knows Kyouya's never ACTUALLY killed someone before.

48. Rokudo Mukuro will put up with being the Vongola's mist guardian for now, if it will ensure Ken and Chikusa's safety. He's way too soft for his own good.

49. Rokudo Mukuro still intends to create World War III on Earth. He's just…putting it off for a while, that's all.

50. Rokudo Mukuro despises the mafia, and always will. But maybe, just maybe, this Sawada Tsunayoshi might be able to change his mind.

* * *

I really like this one. I think it's in the running to be my new favorite. Mukuro is so fucking sexayyyyy…you know you want to hear kufufufu~ in the dark lol if you review, you just might!

Oh, BTW:

1. Mukuro means 'corpse' in Japanese. In case anyone was wondering.

2. In reference to #40, for those of you who don't know YYH, you need to get off of your ass RIGHT NOW and go watch it. EPIC-EST. ANIME. EVEEEEEERRRRR.

Umm…I can't decide whether to do Xanxus, Squalo, or Yamamoto next. Help me decide! Leave your vote in your review! Please and Thank you!

S*B is out this byotch. Yeah, I AM a hardcore gangster. Thanks for recognizing.


	7. Superbia Squalo

A/N: Aya…so I got one final in the can so far…Unfortunately, I'm 98% sure I failed that class *TEAR* but I guess there's not much I can do now, aside from retaking it. But whatever, I tried. In any case, the pressure to pass has been temporarily lifted off of my shoulders, and I can focus on something I really enjoy doing this weekend.

On a lighter note, Classified Information is officially my highest rated story. I'm so happy! I'm glad so many people have faved/reviewed/alerted it. Thanks a bunch, that really means a lot.

Now, to answer some questions/comments:

**Reidluver**: Glad you approve missy =3

**iNikkix3**: Yes Ma'am!

**Chromex3**: My bad! But in my defense, I haven't seen Vongola 77, so I didn't know. A lot of stuff I've written here is my personal fanon; so naturally, it won't be 100% accurate. Still, thanks for pointing that out. Glad you like the story so far =)

**Nightsmoke**: Oh really now? Sweetness!

**Deza-mono**: Yeah, I was vaguely aware…but I switched it on anyway lol Thanks for telling me.

**Panda-chan**: Seriously! Doesn't he seem like one of those guys that acts all badass, but is really a big softie? Well…actually, that IS what he is…isn't it? (FAIL)

**Kuromi69neko**: I'm so witty aren't I? No? Ah well… and yes, it totally is. Which is why I immediately thought of Mukuro XD

And thanks to everyone else who commented!

Now on to the story. Squalo's next. VOOOOOOOOIIIIII! Get ready!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. She can't even pass her stupid math class for Christ's sake.

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Superbia Squalo!

* * *

1. Superbia Squalo takes exactly two hours and seventeen minutes to fix his hair every morning.

2. Superbia Squalo's first word was 'Voi!' He even shouted it. His father was so proud, he ran outside and VOOOOOOOOIIIIII'ed to the Heavens in joy.

3. Superbia Squalo is a terrible nag. He will even follow you around and bitch at you if manage to piss him off. Every member of the Varia is subjected to a 'Squ-Squ- bitch fit' at least once a day.

4. Superbia Squalo really loves to hear himself talk. Or shout, if you wanna get technical.

5. Superbia Squalo always gets really gloomy on rainy days. Just because he's the Rain Guardian for the Varia, doesn't mean he actually enjoys the rain itself.

6. Superbia Squalo is near-sighted. He used to get awful headaches because he had to squint so much.

7. Superbia Squalo happens to share Xanxus's love of Tequila. Although, he's usually alright after a couple of shots, unlike Xanxus, who can chug the whole bottle.

8. Superbia Squalo is actually the most responsible of the Varia. Well, as responsible as an assassin can be, anyway.

9. Superbia Squalo only loves three things. His sword, his hair, and his Maserati. Oh, and the Varia. So actually, it's four.

10. Superbia Squalo has a tattoo of a great white shark on his right shoulder blade. It's badass. Like him.

11. Superbia Squalo's macho pride can get very irritating at times.

12. Superbia Squalo says the work 'fuck' **at least** three-hundred times a day. That goes double for every other curse word in his arsenal.

13. Superbia Squalo loves action movies, especially ones about ancient warriors. Naturally, his favorite his Gladiator.

14. Superbia Squalo is a very deep sleeper. Seriously. He could probably sleep through the Apocalypse.

15. Superbia Squalo won't admit it, but he is a bit of a homophobe. He's sure it's pretty obvious anyway, from the way he treats Lussuria.

16. Superbia Squalo really wanted to punch himself, _and then_ punch Tyr when he realized, _right after_ he cut off his left hand, that he was left-handed. Yeah, fuck his life.

17. Superbia Squalo is also well qualified to be an amazing personal trainer (or drill sergeant, according to Fran).

18. Superbia Squalo reeeeeeeally hates being ignored. Luckily, there are only a skilled few who can actually manage to tune out his loud ass voice.

19. Superbia Squalo will go out of his way to complain. It doesn't matter what he's complaining about, or if it's a convenient time for the unfortunate listener. He's self-centered like that.

20. Superbia Squalo watches the morning news religiously. He likes to be up-to-date with current events in Italy and around the world.

21. Superbia Squalo wasn't shocked at all to learn that he was ranked '#1 Loudest Mafioso' by Fuuta. Well duh. Who the hell else would it be?

22. Superbia Squalo loves Bedhead ™ hair products.

23. Superbia Squalo can be very intolerant of things he doesn't know or understand.

24. Superbia Squalo is not allowed to drink at parties and social gatherings. He gets progressively more embarrassing as he gets more and more intoxicated.

25. Superbia Squalo once saw Jersey Shore while on a trip to America. He thinks they're an embarrassment to Italians. Plus, the situation's abs ain't got NOTHING on Squalo's.

26. Superbia Squalo changed his last name to Superbia. A great man needs a great name, wouldn't you agree?

27. Superbia Squalo's omelets are the shit. When Lussuria doesn't make breakfast, the other Varia members beat on and pester him until he makes them eggs.

28. Superbia Squalo is really good at remembering things. Especially dates and phones number, for some reason.

29. Superbia Squalo is always the first one up in the morning. His swordsman's spirit won't allow him to ever sleep in.

30. Superbia Squalo has lost/broken his cell phone more than everyone in the Varia combined. Naturally, since it's the first thing he grabs and throws when ranting about how much he hates Xanxus in the privacy of his room.

31. Superbia Squalo doesn't know what the heck he's going to do when his hair gets past his knees… he's still not gonna cut it though.

32. Superbia Squalo, for some unexplainable reason, doesn't really mind when Bel calls him Squ-Squ. Maybe it's because the crazy prince will do it regardless of whether he asks him to knock it off or not.

33. Superbia Squalo really wants Yamamoto to continue his sword training. That goofy kid **will **be a greater swordsman than him one day, he just knows it.

34. Superbia Squalo knows how to change the time on the VCR. And the DVD player too.

35. Superbia Squalo is good at impressions. He can mimic pretty much anyone. Fran told him once that he'd be a really good cosplayer.

36. Superbia Squalo is a health nut, though he has a tendency to be a little…unorthodox in his food experiments. Fran still can't be in the same room with him when he's drinking his 'high-protein' shake.

37. Superbia Squalo could actually just dodge the glasses, vases, tables, chairs, random garbage, etc. that Xanxus throws at him. But honestly, getting hit in the head with a cup is better than getting thrown out the third story window. Especially since there aren't any bushes outside of Xanxus's room to break his fall.

38. Superbia Squalo despises cold weather, since he gets cold really easily. Belphegor and Fran both insist that it's the Grim Reaper coming to get him, because he's a grandpa.

39. Superbia Squalo sleeps with his sword under his pillow.

40. Superbia Squalo was an only child. So in the end, he kind of began to see Yamamoto as not just a pupil, but more as an annoyingly chipper younger brother.

41. Superbia Squalo has three different mechanical hands, since he realized that walking around with a sword permanently attached to your body when not in battle is a tad impractical.

42. Superbia Squalo has literally hundreds of tiny little scars all over his scalp from where Xanxus has thrown glasses at him.

43. Superbia Squalo considers himself the brain to Xanxus's brawn.

44. Superbia Squalo tries to find honor in a most dishonorable profession. He's really the only one in the Varia who does.

45. Superbia Squalo is the only member of the Varia who knows firsthand just_ how_ twisted Prince the Ripper really is. It's terrifying.

46. Superbia Squalo won't ever admit it, but he's been a little scared of the grinning maniac ever since that night.

47. Superbia Squalo, even though he boasts and brags about his victories non-stop, has nothing but respect for the ninety-nine swordsmen that died by his hand. Genkishi obviously doesn't count because a) he's alive, and b) According to Squalo, he's a twat, therefore wasn't worthy.

48. Superbia Squalo is thankful to be alive. But nonetheless, he has never forgiven Dino for saving his life during the Ring Battles. His pride just won't let him. A true swordsman should die honorably in battle.

49. Superbia Squalo sometimes finds himself wondering when he will be replaced as Sword Emperor. And more importantly, who will be the one to challenge him?

50. Superbia Squalo made a vow all those years ago to a broken soul. And even if Xanxus abuses him and calls him names, he will never leave his side, because he's the closest thing the guy has to a friend, and they're in it for the long haul.

* * *

Man…these are getting harder and harder to do! I think it's because they're getting progressively longer, and I'm looking at characters other than my personal favorites.

Anyhow, I hope you all enjoyed it nonetheless. Xanxus is next, since he got the second most votes after Squ- Squ (LOL), followed by Yamamoto, because I really want to write one for him.

Read and Review Please, Sankyu!

Until next time,

S*B!


	8. Xanxus

A/N: Next chapter-desu! Hey guys, welcome to the next installment of Classified Information!

So first things first, I have amazing news. C.I.! Just reached the 2,000 hit milestone! BOOYAAAAHH! Oh my God, that is so freaking cool!

Reviews Q&A:

**Reni-is-ishida**: I plan on doing one for Byakuran in the near future. I just wanna do the main-main characters first. But be on the look out for Bya-Bya's chap soon!

**iNikkix3**: #'s 45-46 are actually in reference to future events in another fanfic. Glad you liked this chap =)

**kuromi69neko**: LOL I appreciate your dedication! And BTW, that's how all the masters do it. With fucking crayola scissors. Stay sexii!

**Amiistar**: Thanx a bunch!

**Reidluver**: #16 and #38 were my personal favorites, I laughed so hard when I typed those two.

**Nightsmoke**: I dunno…Xanxus does piss him off, A LOT. But then again, Dino is the king of klutz. It's a tough call lol

And as always, thanks to everyone who commented, faved, and/or reviewed! Reviews/faves/alerts= Huge Ego boost for Sushi*Bomb= Faster updates! Seriously~!

This chapter was so much fun to write, which is weird, because I don't equate Xanxus with fun lol but it was! I tried a little something different with this one, I hope you all like it!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. I wouldn't drive a shitty car if I did lol

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Xanxus!

* * *

1. Xanxus can go through two bottles of tequila a day. Three on holidays.

2. Xanxus doesn't like driving much, but when he feels like it, he'll usually take his Lamborghini out for a spin.

3. Xanxus has thrown pretty much anything you can think of at Squalo. So far, he's thrown cups, chairs, vases, couches, books, empty food wrappers, plates, shoes, Fran, bathroom products, cabinets, corpses, hairbrushes, a doorknob, a bicycle, a bottle of aftershave, buckets, brooms, mops, a pony…

4. Xanxus only eats Filet Mignon, Chateau Briant or equally fine cuts of beef. And yes, he can tell. So don't try to give him shitty steak, unless you want it to become a permanent part of your anatomy.

5. Xanxus sleeps naked. Don't judge him! Besides, he used to sleep with boxers on, but they usually end up coming off anyway because they annoy him.

6. Xanxus is a deadshot. He can pick one bird out of a flock in the sky and shoot it right between the eyes. Bitch.

7. Xanxus is the only other person in the Varia who can (and does) cuss as much as Squalo.

8. Xanxus happens to be a huge fan of UFC fighters. He always gets front row VIP seats when he goes to the matches.

9. Xanxus almost snapped Fran's neck when he offhandedly mentioned that 'Bester' sounds a lot like 'Bastard.'

10. … knives, guns, a stapler, a paperweight, a cumquat, a suitcase, pillows, a pot of stew, a clock, a garbage can, a calculator, an iPod, a TV, the remote for the TV, lightbulbs, a microwave, his desk, Squalo's desk, an umbrella, Lussuria, a mattress, a picture frame, an axe, a stool, a severed arm, sand, rocks, a cake, scissors…

11. Xanxus happens to really enjoy poetry. He doesn't mind saying it, because he knows no one will believe him.

12. Xanxus doesn't see the reasoning behind lying. So the man has a tendency to be pretty blunt sometimes.

13. Xanxus sometimes wonders how in the hell he doesn't have brain damage or any other repercussions from being frozen for eight years. That doesn't make any sense at all, but whatever. Life goes on.

14. Xanxus does appreciate Levi's unwavering loyalty, sometimes. But most of the time, he just wishes Levi would get the damn hint and leave him the hell alone.

15. Xanxus can't really explain the need to wear dead animal and bird accessories in his hair. He just likes them, that's all.

16. Xanxus, along with Squalo, really loves throwing spiders at Fran. He could care less if it's mean, that shit is funny. Besides, that's what the kid gets for being a fuckin' vegetarian. How can you not like meat? Blasphemy.

17. Xanxus has always wanted a bazooka. And for no other reason than to tell people he will blow them up with a fucking bazooka. That's the only reason.

18. Xanxus nailed both of those Cervello chicks. Like a boss.

19. Xanxus finds the sight of pregnant women very disturbing for some reason. With those abnormally large stomaches …and eww…

20. Xanxus comes from a family of gypsies. He knows the dark and oppressed history of his people, and it's something he always tries to put out of his mind. Naturally, the mention of his heritage is taboo in the Varia mansion.

21. Xanxus likes his sandwiches without the crust please.

22. Xanxus isn't too proud to beg Belphegor for those unbelievable massages he gives. Who needs a sixty dollar an hour masseuse when Bel does it better for free?

23. Xanxus has terrible eyesight at night.

24. Xanxus doesn't scare easy, but for some weird reason, zombies really freak him out. Walk up to him like a zombie and say 'brains.' Xanxus will shit the seventh circle of hell and run screaming into the night.

25. Xanxus's first thought when he faced Belphegor's brother was that his laugh was no where near as cute as Bel's. 'Ushashasha' doesn't have the same weird appeal as 'Ushishishi~'. His doesn't even get the little squigglie at the end. Nor should it.

26. … an old tire, a wrench, a hammer, sound speakers, magazines, a DVD player, candles, a maid and a butler, condoms (new and used), a video camera, a folder, a spitball, a snowball, a football, a basketball, a baseball, pretty much every kind of ball you can think of (except his…well, you know)…

27. Xanxus doesn't really like sweets.

28. Xanxus only drinks top shelf liquor. Hand him a bottle under fifty dollars and he will gut you.

29. Xanxus can fall asleep literally anywhere. As long as it's quiet, that is.

30. Xanxus gets pretty competitive when it comes to video games.

31. Xanxus still enjoys the occasional cigar with the ninth, despite their rather strained relationship. Spending time with his old man is sort of his way of apologizing for the cradle affair.

32. Xanxus, when he is unable to pelt Squalo with wine glasses and such, happens tp enjoy shooting grunts in the kneecaps to relieve his stress.

33. Xanxus despises seafood. When they were in Japan, he lost like ten pounds because all they eat is freaking seafood.

34. … a notebook, lamps, an uprooted tree, Bel's crown, Bel himself, paintings, a printer, a yoga ball, a yoga instructor, Fran's hat, a rubber ducky, bottles (of both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages), a dildo, a razor, cell phones, sandwiches, video game consoles, a washing machine, dumbells, a javelin, a radio, Mammon, a toaster…

35. Xanxus is so glad he let his hair grow out. Whoever gave him that horrid buzz cut is gonna look like Swiss cheese when he's through with them.

36. Xanxus has always wondered what it's like to be a genius like Bel. But that's before he realizes that that kind of intelligence clearly comes with a heavy price tag, because that kid is fuuuuucked up.

37. Xanxus , like everyone, has his moments of kindness. He will sometimes help Squalo detangle his hair, but only if they're alone. It's one of those rare moments where they act like actual friends.

38. Xanxus can't crack a diamond with his biceps, but he can crack a walnut. True fact. He can also crack a walnut between his fist and Squalo's forehead.

39. Xanxus is actually a pretty nice guy when he's drunk.

40. Xanxus can't swim, so he just tells people he doesn't like to. It's not like they're gonna question him about it or anything.

41. Xanxus is amazed to see how much and how little his subordinates have changed after eight years. It's like he's been gone for an eternity, and yet he never left.

42. Xanxus knows it's no coincidence that Bester is a Liger. He is the perfect representation of who Xanxus is. One side is the regal leader of a pack of wild killers, and the other side is the rogue assassin who is only second place to the true king of the jungle.

43. … his sky box, a stuffed animal, a potted plant, eggs, a prostitute, a roll of toilet paper, the toilet, expensive jewelry, rare family heirlooms, a ceiling fan, a laptop, a steering wheel, a lawnmower, a neck massager, a back scratcher, anal beads, Levi, a cow, a flashlight, the chef, a mirror…

44. Xanxus feels a slight pang of guilt when he notices the jumpiness in Lussuria's movements when he's nearby. No one, even a hitman of Lussuria's caliber, can ever really get over being shot by their own boss.

45. Xanxus always wonders what his life would have been like if he had never tried to overthrow Nono.

46. Xanxus will never ever EVER tell them, but he knows how fortunate he is to have the undying loyalty of such a powerful, yet eccentric group of people. There is never a dull moment with these psychos, and he prefers it that way.

47. Xanxus always finds himself wondering what ever happened to his mother after the day Nono took him in. He'd never ask though, because he doesn't want anyone to think he's gone soft.

48. Xanxus doesn't think he will ever be able to get over the Ninth's lie. He knows the man had nothing but good intentions, but the worst things have been done with the best of intentions. He considers himself a prime example of that truth.

49. Xanxus would rather be nice to Squalo than ever admit this, but he's sort of glad Tsuna beat him during the Ring Battles. He's never felt more at peace with himself, Nono, and his past than in the years after that night. The Vongola Famiglia's in good hands now, and he's alright with that.

50. …a window, the guy who brings him his steak, a tray of cookies, a christmas tree, bugs, hot coals, a pool table, …okay. Xanxus has indeed thrown everything and everyone at his poor second in command, but you know what? That's just Xanxus's way of saying you're important to him. Wait til you see how he says 'I love you.' ...Ouch.

* * *

Aww…Xanxus has a weird (not to mention painful) way of showing affection! As always, read, laugh, cry, whatever it is you all do when you read this, and then Review!

Yamamoto is up next, because I reeeeally wanna write his. After that…well, leave me a suggestion in your comment telling me who you want to be next! Please and sankyu!

Sushi*Bomb out! XOXOX


	9. Takeshi Yamamoto

A/N: Wow. This took a lot longer than I thought it would. Hey guys, S*B here with the next Chapa-tor of Classified Information!

So first things first, I hope everyone had a Merry old Christmas! If I ignore the fact that I had to work all Christmas weekend, and wanted to go Prince the Ripper on every single person that decided to go out for Chinese/Japanese/Hibachi instead of staying home and cooking like they should have (It sucks working in an asian restaurant because we're literally the only place open!), then I can say that I had a pretty awesome holiday too. I must say that I lurve my mommy. She got me this amazing Shiatsu Massage Pillow, with heat! It's the greatest invention since sliced bread. Seriously. My sisters also gave me some pretty awesome stuff. My youngest sister, who is an art major, drew me a really adorable fan art of Bel by himself, and also one of Mukuro and Byakuran together. My second sister, who is a fashionista extraordinaire, gave me this cool parka she ordered from Old Navy but was too big for her. The snazzy thing is, it looks** just like** Dino's parka. Not even joking. So I'm unofficially cosplaying Dino Cavallone everytime I put it on. LOL.

Secondly, for those of you who have been checking to see if DHH has been updated, don't worry. I'm working on it, I promise. It's…sigh…it's coming along, slowly but surely. Lesson learned, Sushi*Bomb should really stick to one-shots. But I'll finish it! I ain't a quitter! LOL At this rate, I'm sure I'll have it done by Valentine's Day! *Sarcasm*

Now for a little Q&A and Shout-outs from the Reviewers:

**Sassy**: Oh! Sankyu! Sankyu!

**Carlilelovesanime**: HAHA that happens to me ALL the time. Story of my life. Glad you achieved some serious LULZ.

**Reidluver**: Dude, if I had the slightest bit of artistic inclination, I would totally draw #24 for you, because the mental image of that is seriously the funniest thing ever! I knew those two would be faved, cuz I almost had a stroke when I typed those I swear lol And yes, I would do horrible things for a massage from Bel too *winkwink*

**'Psycho person who should definitely get a restraining order' AKA Jenjenshim**: I'm totally kidding! I love you! Your raging, insanity-fueled comment had me like LAAAAAAAWL XXXXXDDDD Yeah, I'm a bit loco after exams too, so I can't blame you. I hope you like this one. I added some 8059 just for you =)

**Famiglia**: I knew everyone would get a kick outta that. I almost died laughing myself xD

**Kuromi69neko**: I bet no one has a worse headache than Squalo though o.o

**Lulu-Ichigo**: I haven't actually seen Durarara, but I know of it. Anyway, I'm glad you approve!

And as always, thanks to everyone else who reviewed/faved/alerted. You're cool in S*B's book. =)

Moving on to the actual chappy. It's Yamamoto's turn to get beat with the Classified Info stick! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. BLASPHEMYYYYYYYYYY.

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Takeshi Yamamoto!

* * *

1. Takeshi Yamamoto has always been the popular guy at school. Naturally so, what with that infectious smile and warm personality.

2. Takeshi Yamamoto's smile however, if you really look, never quite reaches his eyes.

3. Takeshi Yamamoto is a cookie monster. He can go through a pack of oreos in less than twenty minutes.

4. Takeshi Yamamoto thinks it's really hilarious to casually lean over and whisper dirty things in Gokudera's ear. There is nothing more adorable on this Earth than a blushing, sputtering, lit-dynamite-stick wielding Hayato Gokudera. Aww.

5. Takeshi Yamamoto is the healthiest eater out of all of the Vongola guardians. (IF you ignore #3, of course)

6. Takeshi Yamamoto once dreamed of playing in the Major Leagues in America. He had even been scouted by the MLB, and could have made that dream a reality, until this whole mafia game started.

7. Takeshi Yamamoto tells the best 'yo mama' jokes ever.

8. Takeshi Yamamoto swears to every God he knows that he saw a UFO when he was seven. His father doesn't really have the heart to tell him that it was just a blimp.

9. Takeshi Yamamoto happens to enjoy shopping. He always laughs when Gokudera tells him how girly that is.

10. Takeshi Yamamoto doesn't gel his hair. It naturally spikes out like that.

11. Takeshi Yamamoto always wonders where the heck Reborn gets all these crazy toys from. And here he thought the Japanese had some advanced technology, but a time traveling Bazooka? That's nuts.

12. Takeshi Yamamoto thinks Gokudera takes this game a little too seriously. Dude really needs to lighten up.

13. Takeshi Yamamoto can drink a whole gallon of milk in one sitting. What? Growing boys need nurishment!

14. Takeshi Yamamoto got a tattoo of a swallow on his left hip for his twenty-second birthday.

15. Takeshi Yamamoto can play the electric guitar. He took it up after injuring his leg during a game and couldn't play for almost six months. He still practices every once in a while.

16. Takeshi Yamamoto always forgets to pay his cell phone bill. Whoops.

17. Takeshi Yamamoto has a thing for hoodies.

18. Takeshi Yamamoto will fight you for the drums when Rock Band is involved. Get ready to lose some teeth.

19. Takeshi Yamamoto is a good liar. Maybe a little _too_ good.

20. Takeshi Yamamoto is totally into drag racing. As soon as he gets his license…watch out.

21. Takeshi Yamamoto might possibly have some abandonment issues. It would certainly explain why he hates being left out of stuff.

22. Takeshi Yamamoto loves the way Gokudera tries not to stare at him when he's shirtless. Yamamoto hits the gym five times a week, and works his ass off for those amazing abs. Dammit, Gokudera had BETTER stare a little harder.

23. Takeshi Yamamoto has the fastest swing in not only his school's history, but in the mafia's history.

24. Takeshi Yamamoto fell asleep about halfway through Squalo's videos. He knows that if Squalo ever finds out, there will be one less Takeshi Yamamoto on planet Earth.

25. Takeshi Yamamoto stopped thinking this whole mafia-thing was a game when the Varia showed up in Namimori. Now matter how naïve someone is, there is simply no mistaking the intent to kill. And you don't kill people in games…right?

26. Takeshi Yamamoto loves horror movies. Especially the really old black and white classics, like Frankenstein.

27. Takeshi Yamamoto is an amazing cook. He not only makes what may possibly be the most orgasmic sushi on Earth, but he also makes some damn good yakiudon.

28. Takeshi Yamamoto is the motherfuckin' King of Karaoke. Even at the mention of it, he'll get unreasonably giddy and automatically break out into song. Especially in public, much to everyone else's embarrassment.

29. Takeshi Yamamoto is also quite a talented breakdancer. Don't ask when or where he learned how to do that.

30. Takeshi Yamamoto comes from a long line of Samurai. In fact, one of his ancestors was a member of the Shinsengumi, serving directly under Soji Okita.

31. Takeshi Yamamoto has been Baker Acted three times for suicide attempts. Tsuna just happened to stop the last of many failed tries.

32. Takeshi Yamamoto is so into _that_. He's not gonna tell you what exactly _that_ is, so don't bother asking. He's into it, and that's all you need to know.

33. Takeshi Yamamoto didn't quite grasp the magnitude of the Arcobaleno curse until he saw Reborn's shadow against the door. He had always known there was more to that kid than he first thought.

34. Takeshi Yamamoto was one of the first people to learn what actually happened to Belphegor's family. Bel talks quite a bit when he's knocked a few shots of sake back.

35. Takeshi Yamamoto is claustrophobic. He once got locked in a tiny closet when he was small, and was trapped for almost eight hours. He's been afraid of small, enclosed spaces ever since.

36. Takeshi Yamamoto wonders if it's weird that he thinks Gokudera **and **his sister are both really fuckin' hot. Hmmm…

37. Takeshi Yamamoto has taken steroids. There was just one instance where he caved under the pressure everyone was putting on him to win a game. He regrets it to this day, even though he got away with it.

38. Takeshi Yamamoto goes to the batting cages at least four times a week. But he practices with his sword every night, without fail.

39. Takeshi Yamamoto can understand Squalo's irritation at him for not sticking to his swordsmanship, but baseball will always be his first love.

40. Takeshi Yamamoto flat out refuses to drink. Ironically, he is a surprisingly horny drunk.

41. Takeshi Yamamoto has a photographic memory. That's how he was able to perform all of the techniques of the Shigure Soen Ryu after seeing them only once.

42. Takeshi Yamamoto loves skinny-dipping.

43. Takeshi Yamamoto is a bit of a sadist. He's just perfected his poker face so no one can see the bloodlust that's steadily rising through the cracks of a rather fragile psyche.

44. Takeshi Yamamoto is his own worst enemy.

45. Takeshi Yamamoto sometimes wonders if he should tell Tsuna that he knows exactly what's going on. But then he sees the looks of nervousness and desperation his dear friend thinks no one notices, and decides he'd better keep it to himself. Tsuna doesn't need anymore surprises.

46. Takeshi Yamamoto never used to understand why everyone called him 'a wolf in sheep's clothing' until the first time he killed someone. He didn't realize someone, least of all him, could be that vicious, and yet still smile through it. He locked himself in his a room for a week afterward.

47. Takeshi Yamamoto knows what really happened to his mother. And it damn sure wasn't cancer, like his father had always told him. It's not something he's ready to talk to anyone about yet, if ever.

48. Takeshi Yamamoto will always feel indebted to Tsuna. He was the one person who saw him as more than just a baseball prodigy, and believed in him when it really meant the most.

49. Takeshi Yamamoto always hugs his father when he gets the chance. He knows that in another universe, those rare moments of father–son bonding he used to take for granted are a thing of the past.

50. Takeshi Yamamoto is far from the naively optimistic baseball nut everyone thinks he is. But he's okay with being just that, if it means everyone, himself included, can sleep better at night. That's just who he is.

* * *

Explanations:

#31: For those of you who aren't familiar with the Baker Act, it's basically when you are involuntarily admitted into psychiatric care until you are deemed not a threat to yourself or anyone around you.

Wow, Yamamoto's came out a lot darker than I intended it to be. That's just my impression of him though. There's more going on under that happy-go-lucky smile than he let's on, and I think that's why I love Yamamoto's character. Honest, I don't feel like I really did him justice. Maybe I just think too much.

What did you think? Reviews = Candy for writers! Oh and I'm not sure who I wanna do next. Got someone in mind? Leave me a suggestion in your comment. The character with the most votes is next. Until next time, Ja!


	10. Byakuran

A/N: Sushi*Bomb here with the next lovely, molestable installment of Classified information!

So first things first, I don't know if I said this already, so I 'll say it again just in case.

HAPPY NEW YEAR YA BASTARDS! I wish everyone an amazing 2011. May your year be filled with crazed anime obsessions and a lot of yaoi. =) Curious. Does anyone have a new year's resolution they'd like to share? I'd love to read them! I for one have a few. I want to graduate, get a new job, and start putting money away towards my new car. Yeah, pretty straight forward. What about youuuu?

Second:

OH MY GOD. I'm finally finished with this chapter. This C.I. thing is getting really hard man! It was easy at first, because I did my three faves first, and I had already kinda made up fanon for them. But now that I'm getting into the other characters, I have to actually do research and make some shit up quick and make sure it makes some kind of sense lol You all better appreciate ma effort!

Oh well, what can you do?

Time for some Q&A/Love and Shout-outs:

Reid: I was wondering what happened. I figured you didn't like it or something. I was like =( And yeah, my dino parka is SO sweet!

Stupid Cow: Indeed I did, and here it is! Glad you're enjoying C.I. so far! Oh by the way, yeah, I'm pretty lazy too lol

FlyingFishesNeverEatToads: YAY! I appreciate the lurveeee, and I look forward to your onslaught of reviews!

666Hell Ring: Thanx dewd! And yeah, I thought the same thing about him too, but once the show picked up, he really grew on me xD

Reni-is-Ishida: Here's the chapter you've been waiting for yo! I hope you like it =)

XxXKanbeki: Yeah…8059 doesn't really do it for me either, but I felt obligated to add that in, since like 89996567464360% of the fics in this fandom involve that pairing. And it's ALWAYS the smiling ones!

Iloveme264: Thank you!

Lulu-Ichigo: Yeah I know, I was surprised at myself too. But that's just what I see going on beneath that happy-go-lucky smile.

TheLuciferPerson formerly know as jenjenshim: Wow. That was smut to you? I feel really awkward all of sudden lol Aww! You're like a little lamb! I'm just teasing. Indeed, Yamamoto is a little outlandish in my already twisted mind.

Keraii: You WOULD notice that, wouldn't you? Tsktsktsk. (just kidding. I'm not one talk, since I wrote it.)

Deza-mono: Yep. Read Below. And enjoy.

Carlilelovesanime: Indeed. Hibari would be proud.

Death By Sebby: Aww thank you! *Blush*

And now, without further hesitation, here is Byakuran's chapter! Read. Laugh. Have a Byakugasm. And Review!

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Byakuran!

* * *

1. Byakuran can, and has, eaten his weight in marshmellows in less than 24 hours. The members of the Millefiore can't decide what's more amazing. The fact that he did this, or the fact that he didn't even have indigestion afterward. Weird…

2. Byakuran can make up a song about pretty much anything.

3. Byakuran thinks it's the funniest thing in the world to say perverted things to Shouichi in the most random language he can find on Google Translate™. He once told Shouichi he wanted to 'bend him over his desk and ram his sweet ass'… in Swahili.

4. Byakuran is an elite hacker. He could hack into the Pentagon without breaking a sweat if he really wanted to.

5. Byakuran named his organization Millefiore because it sounds like M.I.L.F. He still laughs hysterically every time he hears someone say it. Yeah, it is immature. So what.

6. Byakuran is very paranoid about personal hygiene.

7. Byakuran can make a mean ass Mojito. In fact, he can make a mean ass anything with alcohol.

8. Byakuran didn't aspire to be a powerful Mafia don when he grew up. His dream was much simpler. He just wanted to be a ventriloquist. *Shrug*

9. Byakuran has the artisitic prowess of a seven year old. You know that Dan Dan Dan Byakuran chibi thing? …Yeah...he drew that himself.

10. Byakuran always parks his car at a 65 degree angle. He does this specifically to annoy Shouichi, who is really OCD about parking crooked for some reason.

11. Byakuran has eaten literally every dessert in existence at least once. How is this possible you ask? Well, Byakuran has a lot of time on his hands. Just leave it at that.

12. Byakuran parties like his vagina is on fire. (Note: Byakuran doesn't actually have a vagina. It's a saying)

13. Byakuran has two offices. One for him AND one for his epic stash of sweets. The room has been appropriately dubbed 'Bya-Bya's Happy Place.'

14. Byakuran's other 'happy place' is in Shouichi's pants. Oh yeahhhh… Byakuran really loves natural redheads. Wink Wink.

15. Byakuran talks in his sleep. A lot. Everyone he is associated with, even the Funeral Wreaths, has had a whole conversation with him while he was passed out.

16. Byakuran is an albino. It doesn't bother him though. On the contrary, he thinks it's pretty awesome.

17. Byakuran has an extremely high metabolism. Lucky for him, since he spends a good three-fourths of his day eating crap.

18. Byakuran was the most popular kid in school from elementary school all the way through college.

19. Byakuran, contrary to popular belief, did not get that tattoo on his face on purpose. All he is willing to tell anyone is that he drank too much at a college Frat party, and the next morning he was branded for life. Good thing he likes it.

20. Byakuran was a huge fan of 'casual Fridays.' Only his idea of casual Friday is called 'S&M' Friday. That was actually a huge hit at Melone base for a few weeks…until Baishana showed up shirtless with a leather mask and a ball-gag. It wasn't very popular after that.

21. Byakuran loves to order the most random shit he can find on Ebay. He especially loves it when the shipping for the product is like three times more than the price of the actual product. That is so weird, and yet so awesome at the same time.

22. Byakuran has to resist the urge to punch Kikyo in his weird androgynous face everytime he does that little 'hoho' thing. Oh my God…that is so fucking annoying.

23. Byakuran has two pitbulls he named 'Shithead' and 'Dil-hole.' Byakuran wanted them to be unique.

24. Byakuran wonders why the hell he wasn't born on Halloween. He really couldn't wait three more freaking days to be born? It would have been so fitting. But oh well.

25. Byakuran has the attention span of a dead goldfish. And that's on a good day.

26. Byakuran nicknamed Spanner 'Spanner-tron.' It makes sense, since he spends more time with machines than people, and also happens to be a huge fan of the Tron™ franchise.

27. Byakuran swears to God he has seen that little red headed kid before…

28. Byakuran for the life of him cannot remember anything Mukuro said when he met him face to face for the first time. The whole time he was talking, Byakuran's train of thought consisted of one single thing. Hint: It rhymes with rex. *Winkwink*

29. Byakuran really hates reading. Iris once tried to get him to read 'Twilight.' He read the first two pages, got annoyed and rammed the whole book in the shredder. He had Stephanie Meyer assassinated a week later.

30. Byakuran wishes Yuni was ten years older…is that weird?

31. Byakuran became the boss of the Gesso family when he was fourteen years old.

32. Byakuran once called Bluebell 'Blueballs' by accident. He had been thinking absently about how two single letters can make such a difference, and she just happened to call him…and well… it sort of slipped out.

33. Byakuran loves to send Genkishi on the most outlandish, ridiculous missions he can think of, just to see if he can do it. Once, he asked Genkishi to go find him a hooker. His specifications were as follows: Her name had to be Delores; she had to be 5'9 with nappy purple hair, a serious meth problem, 6-7 teeth, and a peg leg. Genkishi had a nervous breakdown. Smiley face.

34. Byakuran has a Bachelor's Degree in Bioengineering. Being an evil Mafia boss didn't stop him from graduating with honors at the top of his class.

35. Byakuran didn't really torture Mukuro like everyone is inclined to believe. Well, not physically anyway. What he did was much worse. He made Mukuro pleasure him… while dressed up like a mime. Yes, Byakuran does have a mime fetish. He likes them.

36. Byakuran really wants to rub his face in Iris' boobs. Seriously! They're just so unnecessarily large…really, what other purpose could they possibly have, other than to cushion Byakuran's perverted, smiling face?

37. Byakuran feels kinda bad for thinking this, because Daisy is a pretty nice guy, but…he is freaky-looking as all hell. Byakuran always makes it a point to NOT be standing/sitting/ lounging (Because Byakuran lounges) directly across from the little weirdo.

38. Byakuran really, really, REALLY hates Spanner. And not for the reasons you think. Well yes...uh…see, well those reasons are also valid, but the MAIN reason he hates Spanner is because, for all of his technological prowess, the man can't seem to figure out how to create a complete lollipop. Byakuran doesn't want an 85% complete lollipop, damn it. That is SO irritating.

39. Byakuran can't sleep unless it is freezing cold in his room. He is not satisfied until his bedroom is so cold there are icicles forming on the windows and air vents. It's a wonder he doesn't get sick.

40. Byakuran wants a vuvuzela. And only for the sole reason of whipping it out and playing it every time Gamma talks, just to show him how irrelevant everything that comes out of his mouth is.

41. Byakuran noticed right after construction finished that Melone Base looks a lot like Kaiba Corp. Well, minus the sign. He thinks that is way cool.

42. Byakuran can speak English, Spanish, Japanese…and apparently Swahili as well. (Please Refer to #3 for further clarification.)

43. Byakuran was terrified the first time he met himself from another world. He couldn't sleep for almost three weeks after. He handled it a little better the second time, though.

44. Byakuran has to resist the urge to laugh everytime Shouichi gets one of those anxiety-fueled stomach aches. Being a traitor must do a lot of damage on the nerves of someone as cowardly and fragile as the White Spell Captain.

45. Byakuran loves the irony behind his name. His name is ironic because the meaning of the flower which he is named for is a direct contradiction to his actual personality.

46. Byakuran couldn't wait to kill Genkishi. Not because the guy was annoying or useless, but because he loved the idea of flat out betraying someone who did the same to his own famiglia. What right did the Phantom Knight have to assume Byakuran wouldn't do the same thing?

47. Byakuran sometimes wishes that things could go back to normal. He found a kindred spirit in Shouichi, and the guy was probably the closest thing to a best friend he's ever had. To bad it wasn't meant to be.

48. Byakuran loves to stand on the shore of the beach and stare out into the horizon for hours. He takes solice in the fact that in every other world parallel to this one, he was free to do this when he pleased.

49. Byakuran inherently understood that he was going to die in that final battle with Tsuna. Unlike him, the Vongola brat had a genuine cause, and had a reason to win. Byakuran knew he didn't.

50. Byakuran is the Devil. Pure and simple. But it's hard to think that when he's shoving chopsticks up his nose and telling you he's a walrus. This is the most evil man in the world? …No way.

* * *

It is really hard to make Byakuran appear evil. I thought it was going to be a lot easier than that…but he's just so goofy! I can't take him seriously! But whatevs. I love him anyway. Especially his epic 'Oh noes' face. (Note: If you don't know what I'm talking about, google it. You're gonna have a ROFL seizure.)

Explanations/Notes:

Some of these won't really make sense unless you've read Byakuran=Weird. I pulled quite a few ideas from there. You can tell which ones.

#3: My friend does this to me. She loves to send me dirty messages on Facebook in random languages. Swahili was the latest one.

#10: I can imagine Shouichi going Death the Kid on Byakuran for doing that xD

#21: My sister once ordered a prop for cosplay off ebay, and no lie, the thing was like five bucks…and the shipping was almost fifteen. I find that REALLY hilarious.

#29: That was basically my reaction when a friend tried to get me to read Twilight. I read the first page, glared at her, and chucked the book across the room. Yeah. I'm definitely on team ALUCARD.

Anyway, as always, read and review please! Oh and leave your vote for the next person in your comment, or you can PM me. See ya soon xoxoxo

Sushi*Bomb!


	11. Lussuria

A/N: Hey homies. Sushi*Bomb is present con el proximo Capitulo de 'Classified Information!' I don't know why I suddenly busted out with the Spanish…but whatever.

So first things first, I want to give a special shout-out to my homie G-skillet with a side of bacon and eggs/ favorite Varia author, **Nightsmoke**, for graciously allowing me to mooch off of her really awesome and unique Lussuria fanon and expand on it a bit. If you've read her amazing Varia fanfics, you'll know which numbers are in reference to her fanon. Thank you soooooo much! I really appreciate the help!(LOL I told you I was gonna be really embarrassing…although, it's not as annoyingly gushy as I wanted it to be, but I imagine you're okay with that. Did I stroke your ego enough, Smokey?)

Secondly, holy crap! This story is almost at 100 reviews! I think I should do something special for the lucky hundredth reviewer...maybe a one-shot of their choice? Hmm... yeah, that sounds good. The 100th Reviewer gets a free one-shot, any rating, any pairing (if any) any genre, whatever you want!

And now onto Review shout-outs and Q&A:

**DarkeFlame**: I love the YGO Abridged Series! All I have to say is that if I ever see LittleKuriboh walking around here in FL… well; let's just say he should DEFINITELY invest in a rape whistle. xD

**Deza-mono**: Ya know, I have no idea where I get all this crazy shit from. I'm just fairly skilled at making up really random things I guess, not to mention heavily exaggerating events from real life and applying them to anime in a humorous way. *shrug* BTW: I'm a girl lol

**Blueballs-cough-bluebell**: Love your signature lol And I agree, it would be interesting, but I'm not gonna start on the really minor characters til a bit later.

**Wouldn't YOU like to know**: Yes. As a matter-of-fact, I would like to know. Firstly, love the engrish lol second, vuvuzelas are just funny period, so I can't blame you for laughing!

**Sassy**: Heeeey now D: Blame the time zones man! I don't update at 3 in the morning I swear! But I'm glad I make your awesome author senses tingle =) and to answer your question, yeah, I have gotten a request for one of the funeral wreaths, but they'll be a bit further down the line.

**Death by Sebby**: Yeah, as far a villains go, Byakuran is pretty amazing.

**Lulu-Ichigo**: Didn't we all! No offense to twilight fans, but it sucks ass. Plain and simple. On the bright side, Stephanie Meyer gives me hope. I know that if her shitty, grammatically incorrect, dull, cliched and unoriginal fanfic gone wrong can get published, any of the thousands of ACTUALLY talented writers on FFN can get published too. Apparently, it's not that hard.

**Reni-is-Ishida**: Glad you approve!

**Keraii**: Hey, what exactly was that supposed to say? I really wanna know, but for some reason, it won't translate right. All I know is that it had something to do with bondage and Yamamoto, so I'll give you my obligatory answer considering those two wonderful things in any kind of sentence together. YES.

**YearofthePanda**: Mine too.

**Ambie-Chan**: Glad you and your sis liked it!

**xxx BlackDarkAce xxx**: Thank you my adorable kohai!

**Reidluver**: *Puts down binoculars* Me? A stalker? No way… *awkward silence when she drops the binoculars on the ground* Um…anyway lol Glad you liked the chappy. This one was so much fun to write once I really got into it.

**666 Hell Ring**: XDDDDDD I am a perverted weirdo, aren't I? Props for the Yiddish lol

**CarlileLovesAnime**: Somehow I manage O.O And don't worry, I know you've wanted to see a CI for Basil, and you'll be pleased to hear that I'm working on it. It'll take me a while though. But look forward to it in the very near future. As in chapter after next near. =)

HOLY DAMN. I can't believe I answered every single review. But I look forward to reading them, so I like to respond to your craziness!

Now on to the chapter! Ohoho~! It's Lussuria-nee-san's turn! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. You all got lucky. Now Read or GTFO.

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Lussuria!

* * *

1. Lussuria owns exactly seven different types of hair spray, and five different kinds of gel. And yes, they are all used to hold up that crazy Mohawk. Lussuria gels and sprays it until its pretty much bullet-proof.

2. Lussuria goes to the salon every Friday without fail. That fabulous tri-colored hairdo needs to be constantly retouched, not to mention his nails are usually a disaster by the end of the week. Murder is such a burden on his cuticles. Sad face.

3. Lussuria knows all of the best underground techno/dance/electronic stations. Which makes sense, since he is a self-confessed party animal.

4. Lussuria began training in Muay Thai when he was only ten years old. He ran away from home to go and train with the real _Nak Muay_ of Thailand. By fourteen, he was lethal.

5. Lussuria is also skilled in several forms of kung-fu, karate, judo, capoiera, sambo and Mixed Martial Arts.

6. Lussuria has never been seen without his sunglasses. By anyone. He has gone to great lengths to keep it that way too.

7. Lussuria LOVES romance novels. Any one you randomly pluck off a shelf, he's probably read it. His New Year's Resolution this year is to find Fabio, and rape the hell out of him.

8. Lussuria always remembers everyone's birthday. The only person's he can't seem to ever recall is himself.

9. Lussuria can't stand processed foods. Like Squalo, Lussuria believes in a healthy, balanced diet, and thus has taken it upon himself to cook when the chefs go home for the weekend, and even during the weekdays sometimes.

10. Lussuria is always on the VIP list of the hottest clubs and parties in Italy. He and Bel love to go club-hopping together on weekends.

11. Lussuria can out-'vogue' Benny Ninja.

12. Lussuria has nine piercings. He has an industrial in the top of his left ear, along with two studs in the lobe. In his right ear, he has two more studs. He also has a rod in his tongue, a bar in his right nipple, and a double piercing on his navel. If anyone in the Varia can be called 'pincushion' it is definitely Lussuria.

13. Lussuria however, for all his love of piercings, surprisingly only has one tattoo. A simple word in Thai on the back of his neck, received before he left Thailand to return home to Italy. **ต่างด้าว****. **It means 'outsider.' You can probably imagine the weight behind that one single word.

14. Lussuria is the only member of the Varia that is actually nice to Levi.

15. Lussuria happens to really enjoy musicals, especially rock operas. His current favorite is REPO! The Genetic Opera!

16. Lussuria's favorite pastime when bored is to flirt with Squalo. It is unbearably funny to watch the swordsman wave his sword around, shrieking like a banshee about 'faggots like Lussuria this' and 'fags like Lussuria that' with his cheeks tinted red from embarrassment.

17. Lussuria is an unbelievably amazing kisser.

18. Lussuria doesn't really ask for much, but there is **one** thing he's always wanted: A giant rotating disco ball in his room. Complete with epileptic seizure-inducing strobe lights. YES.

19. Lussuria adores Ryohei. He's so preciously enthusiastic, not to mention that godly body of his…let's just say he gives Lussuria an EXTREMELY uncomfortable tightness in his pants, if you know what I mean.

20. Lussuria is such a cougar.

21. Lussuria swears one day, he **will** trim Squalo's hair. It's not that it isn't beautiful, because it is. It's just…those…god -forsaken…split ends… *twitch*

22. Lussuria always listens to Lady Gaga when he's cooking. Always. The other members of the Varia can usually tell what he's making by what song he's listening to. If it's 'Bad Romance,' Lussuria's making chicken. 'Poker Face'= Steak. And if he's listening to one of his two personal favorites, 'Dance in the Dark 'or' Rock Show' everyone orders take out, because he's experimenting.

23. Lussuria also really enjoys baking things like cakes and cookies, but he happens to be very protective of his culinary creations. So don't even think about sneaking a cookie until he says you can have one, unless you wanna eat that cookie through an IV. Seriously.

24. Lussuria has the strictest training regimen of all the Varia officers. His martial arts training requires that his body remain in peak condition, so he spends quite a lot of time working out.

25. Lussuria always go commando. Yeah baby.

26. Lussuria can be very frivolous when it comes to shopping. He has no problem walking into a store and dropping a grand for a pair of sunglasses just because he thought they were cool. This happens quite often, since Lussuria is addicted to shopping.

27. Lussuria is the only member of the Varia besides Xanxus to have his own private wing in the Varia mansion. He needs the three other free rooms in the hall for all of the clothes, shoes, and accessories he buys on those outrageously extravagant shopping sprees.

28. Lussuria is an unashamed deviant. He loves the looks of disgust (Squalo and Levi), indifference (Xanxus and Fran) and potential thievery (Bel) he gets when he walks around with his fuzzy neon- purple handcuffs linked to one of the belt loops in his pants. His collection of sex toys is larger than Kanye West's ego. That's pretty damn big.

29. Lussuria meditates for one to two hours everyday. There's a reason Lussuria is always of a relatively cool and pleasant demeanor. Meditation brings him peace of mind. 'Sound mind, sound body' is what he always says when he tries (unsuccessfully, mind you) to get the other Varia officers to meditate with him.

30. Lussuria has the worst timing EVER. Just ask Squalo. The specifics of this statement are left completely up to the reader's interpretation.

31. Lussuria loves green tea with honey in the morning, but for some reason, he can't stand it at night. Isn't that strange?

32. Lussuria is almost completely blind. His domineering, abusive, _homophobic_ mother thought it only appropriate to reward her young son's bravery at coming out of the closet with a faceful of boiling oil. It is still the most painful thing Lussuria has ever had to endure. Physically and emotionally.

33. Lussuria accidently walked in on Xanxus getting out of the shower once. He couldn't look at his boss for almost a month without automatically looking down at his crotch. THAT was impressive.

34. Lussuria sews feather boas onto all of his coats. Nothing like a freakin' lime green boa to liven up that drab black Varia coat!

35. Lussuria shaves everywhere. It has nothing to do with him being gay, he just REALLY hates being hairy. Eww…

36. Lussuria knows every pressure point in the human body. He also knows that if you hit certain ones just right, you can either make a person have the most incredible orgasm of their life, or you could paralyze their lungs. He's done both.

37. Lussuria sometimes leaves his hair down when he falls into one of those rare depressions he experiences every once in a while. Bel, twisted as he is, loves to run his fingers through the surprisingly soft strands of red and green blended together. To him, this is when Lussuria is at his most beautiful.

38. Lussuria is the only person besides Mukuro who knows about Fran's rather dangerous cocktail of marijuana and prescription tranquilizers. He knows that illusionists as powerful as Fran are sometimes prone to episodes of psychosis and nervous breakdowns because they can't distinguish fantasy from reality. So when Fran smiles one of those rare, heavily medicated smiles at him, he knows not say anything.

39. Lussuria, poor eyesight aside, has the sharpest senses of all the Varia commanders. He can smell blood all the way across the mansion. Not even kidding.

40. Lussuria still to this day feels a pang of guilt when he follows Bel out to the Naples Cemetery. He knows who he's going to visit, and he desperately wishes that he wasn't the one responsible for the prince's very rare moments of genuine sadness.

41. Lussuria would love to fight Ryohei again someday. Without any stakes or strings attached. Just a good, solid match. His Muay Thai versus Ryohei's boxing.

42. Lussuria's metal knee plate is interchangeable. He actually has one for everyday of the week, because he likes variety.

43. Lussuria, for the most part, thinks a peacock is a fine representation of who he is, but it's not the best. Peacocks are harmless. He can think of a bird he feels is far more fitted to him in its strange beauty and it's lethality. A Cassowary.

44. Lussuria knows he's a mother hen, but he just can't help it. He finds great satisfaction in taking care of this unruly group of boys (they will always be boys to him, since he's the oldest).

45. Lussuria doesn't really consider himself a 'necrophiliac' per say. He just happens to find beauty in the sight of a lifeless body, especially one made that way by his own doing. There is something so intimate between a killer and a victim, he can't really explain it in words… it's just…

46. Lussuria can't help but laugh when Squalo insults him about being a quote/unquote 'flaming faggot.' He knows Squalo has a tendency to be very intolerant of things that are strange to him, and frankly, Lussuria feels kind of bad for him. He has NO idea what he's missing.

47. Lussuria has always been a little envious of Belphegor. He has found a kindred spirit in the crazy prince, who also hated his parents with a burning passion. But unlike Bel, Lussuria didn't seize the chance to snuff his mother out himself. He was too scared of her.

48. Lussuria does, however, get a sadistic satisfaction in the ironic fact that his mother died from full-blown AIDS. It pleases him more to know that she suffered up until her last breath.

49. Lussuria will never EVER keep his back turned when Xanxus is around. It's an irrational fear he's developed ever since the Ring Conflict. He knows Xanxus wouldn't try to shoot him again, but….Perhaps it's not so irrational after all.

50. Lussuria is the closest thing to a female figure the members of the Varia will ever know, and to be honest, even though he's more than a bit outlandish (even by Varia standards) he takes care of them, and gives this rag-tag team of killers a sense of family. They appreciate it a lot more than they show.

* * *

Explanations:

#4: Nak Muay is the name of a practitioner of Muay Thai native to Thailand.

#11: Benny Ninja is from America's Next Top Model. If you're a fan of the show, you will understand the meaning behind this one. If not, Google him.

#36: This is also known as Chi-blocking, and can be a very effective technique for both self-defense and offense. I want to learn how to do it someday. Not even kidding.

Phew! I spent literally three days on this chapter! And ya know, I'm very proud of it. Once again, thanks Nightsmoke for helping me out with the fanon, I hope you liked my spin on it =)

Upon reviewing the requests, I realized that Shouichi Irie actually should have been next…my bad lol But he's most definitely up next, I promise! Basil's after him, then after that…it's up to you guys. As always, Read, laugh, cry, do naughty things, get mad, whatever it is you crazy people do, then REVIEWWWW!

I luv ya, Sushi*Bomb!


	12. Irie Shouichi

A/N: Hey guys, it's been a while hasn't it? Welcome to the next installment of Classified Information! Sorry for the delays. I've had a lot going on lately, and I haven't really been in the mood to write. But I'm alright now, so here it is!

So, first things first, my friend forced me to make a Tumblr over the weekend. And by forced, I mean she literally made it for me, and said 'Here. This is yours. Go on it. And love it.' And Christ, do I love it! That shit is ADDICTIVE! If any of you all have one, follow me! It's my homepage on my profile. Check it out!

While I'm on the subject, I keep forgetting to mention that I update my profile regularly. I like to be in communication with my readers, and let them know what's going on with my fics. So if you're curious about something, just check out my profile. I post updates like once or twice a week, depending on what I'm working (or not working) on.

Second, I'm in the process of planning out my cosplays for MetroCon 2011 in June. I'm debating about whether I want to do Fran or Viper, since my friend is cosplaying Bel for me. Who should I do?( Vote in your review if you don't mind =P) I mean, in terms of personality, I can probably pull off Fran better, since I'm a lot like him in real life, but Viper is such a badass! Frustration!

Third. A lot of you mentioned Durarara in your reviews, so I started watching it to see what all the fuss was about. Holy Crap. I love it. Izaya Orihara= Potential Rape Victim. He's so freaking amazing! He had me in stitches at the scene where he was practically riverdancing on that girl's cell phone laughing. My friend is cosplaying him, so I'm gonna cosplay Celty, because I love her helmet.

Okay. Damn I talk a lot.

Got that outta the way, now on to Review Q&A and shout-outs!

Oh firstly, To **Miss Fabulously Feisty**, you were the 100th reviewer! I couldn't PM you to ask you if you wanted your one-shot because you had it disabled. If you're interested, leave me an idea in your review or PM me if possible and we'll work something out. If not, you can pass it on to the next reviewer. Thanks.

**Belsdabest**: Technically. But I happen to be a big fem!Viper fan, and as such, I tend to alternate between writing dude!Viper and fem!Viper. Sorry if you don't approve, but that's what I like.

**Vain Harmony**: Is that a good thing or a bad thing? LOL But I'm glad you like it.

**Yukirin-sama**: Do you mean the pairings that I'm implying in the story? Or like in the show in general? And yeah, Tsuna is the ultimate uke.

**Kyoasaurus**: Go do your homework! Yeah, I have to be in a certain mindset to write C.I.!, and once I'm in it, it usually takes me three to four days to write a chapter. I get new ideas everyday.

**Lulu-Ichigo**: Everytime someone says Bella, Bela Lugosi turns in his grave. R.I.P. original vampires. And thank you!

**Silverwolf77**: Yeah I can too. Double rainbow all the way! LOL

**Stupid Cow**: Yeah I noticed that too. And they're getting longer and longer. I can't really call them sentences anymore, can I? They're more like paragraphs now. BTW, your emoticon is so cute!

**xxx BlackDarkAce xxx**: Aww thanks, but Bel will always be the most awesome sempai lol

**DeathBySebby**: Lussuria always has his rape face on ;P

**Reni-is-Ishida**: Yeah, Luss has mommy syndrome bad.

**Saruko**: Oh thank you!

**DarkeFlame**: I'm glad. I hated computer class too.

**Keraii**: I'm curious as to your reaction when you finally did get it lol

**Panacea-chan**: Well of course! Luss is amazing! I didn't like him at first, but he grew on me over time.

**Sassy**: Then I have done my job! And I'm always awesome! It's my lifestyle!

**Reidluver**: No no, that was definitely a cat. I was across the street in a car. LOL Oh BTW, are those Rebocon vids on youtube? And I'm really glad she let me expand on her fanon a bit. Luss is so awesome, and yet gets so little screentime. Not cool. And I feel the same! I think the image of that is cute! I like to explore the relationships between the characters. I wish they would go into more detail in the show, but whatever right? That's where us fanfiction writers come in =)

**Nightsmoke**: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I'm so glad you liked it! I was really nervous. I'm happy that it cheered you up! And no, it is my Lussu who bows to YOU.

**Carlilelovesanime**: Yeah I'm starting it soon, I promise. And dude, Kanye West is like the Seto Kaiba of our world, amirite? He is such a douche, ugh I can't stand him. And neither can Lussuria's sex toys. I wanted a disco ball in my room when I was younger! I bet most little girls wanted that too! Some do now!

Aya…okay. Finally on to the chapter. It's Sho-chan's turn! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. But I do have a lot of pictures. That's gotta count for something, right?

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Irie Shouichi!

* * *

1. Irie Shouichi is the king of alphabetizing. It's a bit unhealthy how much joy he gets from putting random things in alphabetical order. He also really likes parenthesizing.

2. Irie Shouichi has gotten straight A's since kindergarten.

3. Irie Shouichi really, really, REALLY hates tofu. The mushy texture makes him gag. He also hates edamame.

4. Irie Shouichi, like Byakuran, also has a degree in engineering. He actually graduated #2 in the class, right after Byakuran. And it annoys him to no end, because he's used to being at the top of his class.

5. Irie Shouichi owns about seven hundred dollars worth of headphones. Seriously. He's become something of a collector over the years, and has a pair for every genre you can think of.

6. Irie Shouichi can play both the acoustic and electric guitar

7. Irie Shouichi is the smartest kid in Japan. Light Yagami? Pfft. Irie Shouichi wipes his ass with Light Yagami's inferior tests scores! God-complex having motherfucker!

8. Irie Shouichi thinks it's ridiculously funny to call Spanner and leave him annoying messages on his voicemail… while talking like William Shattner.

9. Irie Shouichi has way too many nicknames for his liking. Byakuran calls him Sho-chan, Ginger, The Virgin Mary (because he was so naïve when he started at the base), The Red Dragon (when he's pissed or annoyed), and Dick (He _still _can't figure out why he calls him that). Iris gives him pet names, like baby, sweetie, honey, Lucky Charm (because of his status as a 'ginger'), etc. But Spanner's are the best. There's DJ Antihistamine (on the count of his both his love for head phones _and _his allergies), iSho-kun (Shouichi is never seen without an electronic music device somewhere on his person), Cap'n Kirk (see #8), Red (obvious), and his personal favorite, Pimpmaster Bootyvello (because those two Cervello chicks follow him around all the time. Spanner said in America, they'd be his 'bitches.')

10. Irie Shouichi has his own secret nicknames for everyone too. Besides 'Byakuran-san,'Byakuran is also known as Saint Creeper and Google-bitch (Because Byakuran has a rather unreasonable love of the Google search engine). For Spanner, there's Robo-(whatever he feels like adding that day, i.e. bitch, douche, twat, chode), Wrench-head, and blondie (that one makes Spanner twitch). Iris is inflate-o-tits. It's pretty obvious why.

11. Irie Shouichi can't look at Bianchi without thinking about the first time he saw her in that…teeny…tiny…bikini. He's running out of reasons to explain why his face suddenly erupts in red everytime she talks to him.

12. Irie Shouichi has every Pokemon card in existence. He keeps them under lock and key in a folder the size of Jupiter.

13. Irie Shouichi really hated his sister when he was younger. She used to tell him he was adopted because he was the only person in the family with red hair.

14. Irie Shouichi snorts when he laughs. Luckily for him, it is nearly impossible to make him laugh hard enough to start snorting. Unless your name is Spanner or Byakuran, that is.

15. Irie Shouichi has a whole section of his closet dedicated to his band t-shirts. And no, he doesn't buy them at Hot Topic. He's way too cool for that.

16. Irie Shouichi loves to pull Spanner's curl. It's so cool how it snaps right back into place like a spring. BoingBoingBoing.

17. Irie Shouichi likes his beats fast and the bass down low.

18. Irie Shouichi is scared of Gokudera, but he is absolutely TERRIFIED of Hibari. He knows the man won't hurt him without a reason (Tsuna assured him of this, because he would not have decided that on his own), but still. Everytime Hibari so much as _glances_ in his direction, Shouichi nearly shits his pants in fear.

19. Irie Shouichi got beat up often as a kid, up until high school that is. He survived (both physically and financially) by doing the jocks' homework. He felt so powerful holding their futures in his hands. One slip up, and they'd get a big fat 'F.' It pays to be a nerd.

20. Irie Shouichi is not a superstitious person by any means, except for when it comes to the number 13. It's a fear he's had since childhood. He will never ever stop on the thirteen floor of the Melone base, nor will he leave his house on Friday the 13th. He knows it is a completely irrational fear but…*shiver*

21. Irie Shouichi's favorite word is 'awkward.' If he could write his autobiography, that would be the title, because those seven letters are literally the story of his life.

22. Irie Shouichi doesn't look like it, but he loves drifting. When the stress becomes too much for him to handle, he goes out drifting late at night clear his mind. The pure adrenaline is enough to ease anyone's worries.

23. Irie Shouichi is allergic to the world.

24. Irie Shouichi _was_ a virgin when he started working at Melone Base. Then he made the mistake of telling Iris, who was apparently a blabber mouth. Naturally, Byakuran got wind of it and made it his personal mission to deflower our little ginger. Did he succeed?

25. Irie Shouichi…is no longer a virgin. Smiley face.

26. Irie Shouichi loves old rock music, especially from London. Pink Floyd is one of his favorite bands. He and Spanner watch _'the Wall'_ together at least once a year. It's a tradition between the two of them.

27. Irie Shouichi can't hold his liquor for the life of him. One beer is all it takes for him to pass out and for everyone to have their wicked way with him.

28. Irie Shouichi is a good actor. He managed to fool almost everyone in Melone Base. _Almost._

29. Irie Shouichi knows that Byakuran parks his car at an angle specifically to irritate him, but every morning, he sees that white lamborghini parked nearly sideways and he can't help but flip out and snatch the keys out of Byakuran's hand, even when the other man is laughing his ass off.

30. Irie Shouichi…secretly enjoys tentacle porn. (Don't look so surprised, genius. What do you think him and Spanner are doing when no one's around? Yes. Watching tentacle porn. Shouichi is not as innocent as we thought!)

31. Irie Shouichi apparently has the worst (or best, depending on how you see it) timing ever. How is it possible that everytime he walks into Byakuran's office, he stumbles upon the man doing something…er…not normal?

32. Irie Shouichi sometimes wonders how he isn't scarred for life. It would be perfectly justifiable if he was, but clearly, he's made of tougher stuff than we gave him credit for.

33. Irie Shouichi used to like marshmellows. _Used _to.

34. Irie Shouichi is the only person on Earth who knows where Spanner's weed stash is. Yeah, I knew it too. Spanner is just a little _too_ relaxed. He should really offer Shouichi some, because if anybody needs to chill, it's definitely him.

35. Irie Shouichi can't stand Genkishi. And for this simple reason. Genkishi may be an incredible swordsman, great illusionist, blah blah blah, but to be frank, Shouichi equates his intelligence level and personality with that of a soggy stump. Shouichi likes weird things, especially eccentric characters, which is why he generally gets along alright with everyone in Melone Base. But Genkishi? Pssshh…The guy has zero personality. It's like talking to a bag of peanuts. Plus his eyebrows are annoying as hell.

36. Irie Shouichi designed Spanner's tattoo.

37. Irie Shouichi had a pet tarantula when he was younger. He named it Dr. Lecter. Why? Well…let's just say that their _used_ to be Lecter juniors…until Shouichi forgot to feed her one day.

38. Irie Shouichi took nearly two years to design the layout for Melone Base. It's a good thing he had plenty of funding, because the construction took nearly triple that since the contractors kept screwing up.

39. Irie Shouichi has never had a girlfriend.

40. Irie Shouichi can hot wire a car. Has he? Ask Spanner, because he was the one who showed him how.

41. Irie Shouichi is pretty much the boss of Melone Base. Not by title of course, we all know that's Byakuran. But Shouichi is the one who does all the paper work, manages the finances, issues orders, sends memos, etc. Byakuran just sits in his office like a decorative piece of art in a lobby, lounging away. He knows his precious Sho-chan can handle it.

42. Irie Shouichi hates the awkward tension when Byakuran pays him a visit while in Spanner's workroom. The two don't seem to like each other all that much, and Shouichi is fairly certain it has _a little something_ to do with him. And by a little something he means everything.

43. Irie Shouichi might be a little neurotic. He has to be to pull the all nighters that he has without going insane. He might also be a smidge OCD when it comes to certain things.

44. Irie Shouichi will always be fond of Lambo. Ever since he exploded (literally) into his life, Shouichi's dull, unbearably normal life suddenly became a little more interesting. Besides, he still wants to look through that cow-fro of his. Shouichi is itching to find out what kind of crap Lambo hides in there.

45. Irie Shouichi hasn't had a full night's rest since he, Tsuna, and Hibari put this plan of theirs into motion. Everytime he closes his eyes, he has nightmares about the Decimo's fake death. It's an image that will be forever burned into his mind. He can't blame Gokudera for disliking him. He would too.

46. Irie Shouichi always wonders why it took him so long to meet Spanner. Shouichi wasn't the most popular kid growing up, and he can bet someone as …_unique_ as Spanner sure as hell wasn't either. They're kindred spirits. Nonetheless, he's glad they met. Better late than never, he supposes.

47. Irie Shouichi can't help the painful cramping of his stomach everytime Byakuran gives him that certain _look_. That look is more terrifying than anything Byakuran could possibly say. It's that cryptic little smile that never quite reaches Byakuran's eyes that makes Shouichi seriously wonder if he'll get out of this alive.

48. Irie Shouichi is not a religious person, but he can't remember a time that he prayed harder than when Tsuna and everyone took him on at the Melone Base. He prayed so hard for them to get to him safely his knuckles turned white from how tightly laced he had his fingers.

49. Irie Shouichi won't admit this, especially to anyone in the Vongola, but he is still haunted by Byakuran's death. He knows it was for the better, but a part of him still considers the man a friend and is mourning him. The others didn't get to see the good side of Byakuran. The fun, witty, slightly embarrassing side. Perhaps they'll meet again, in another life. Maybe things will be different.

50. Irie Shouichi is proud to call himself a member of the Vongola famiglia. It's very different from the tense atmosphere he was used to with the Millefiore, but in his heart, he knows that this is where he belongs. The warmth of Sawada Tsunayoshi and his quirky little family is the most welcoming thing he's ever felt.

* * *

Explanations:

#5: This is based on a guy friend of mine, who literally owns over $900 worth of specialty headphones.

#7: Deathnote reference. But I'm sure 99% of you got that already.

#17: This is my freaking theme song. I like that line, so I threw it in.

#21: That's my favorite word lol

#22: I was watching Tokyo Drift, and I liked the idea of Sho-chan in a suped up car, just drifting along. As you can probably tell if you've read my stories, I like cars. A lot.

#35: I hate Genkishi. I liked him at first, but by the 4329489413984 time they fought him, I just really wanted him to die. -,-

Soooo? What did ya think? Read and Review peeps. Thank You! As promised, Basil is up next, followed by whoever has the most votes. Oh, BTW, for those of you who have asked for Tsuna, he has to be last. You'll see why.

Until next time, S*B!


	13. Basil

A/N: Whew boy. It is finally here. Hey guys, welcome to the next orgasmic installment of Classified Information!

So I've been thinking…I have an idea for this fic that I would like to share with you all.

Because *coughI'mlazycough* I love you all so much, and I value your input, how about I make this fic interactive?

My idea goes like this: In your review, you guys can leave me questions about the character you'd like answered, and come next chapter, I'll make up points answering your questions. The format of the chapters won't change, so don't worry; it's just a little help with ideas, now that I'm getting into some of the more minor characters. And of course, I'll credit you in the review Q&A and shout-out section.

I've been toying with this idea for a while, and I think it'll be cool. Not only will it make this a somewhat interactive story, but it will also help the creatvie process along for me, since these are becoming steadily harder as the chapters go by. So, next chapter will be an experimental chapter. We'll see how it goes. If you guys like how it works out, I'll continue to do it that way, and if not, well…I'll just write the chapters the way I always have. What do you guys think?

Also, I've been considering re-doing the first few chapters of CI! I was just stretching my proverbial legs with those first few chapters, and considering they're my three favorite characters, I just don't think they measure up to the rest. Should I? Or should I just leave them the way they are now?

Well other than that…I have nothing interesting to say today, so I'll just move right on to the Review Q&A and Shoutouts:

**Prince SuperSharky**: Oh believe me, I had absurd amounts of fun writing that lol

**CircusKittyCat:** I hope I answered your question! Oh and as for your chapter 12 review, I'm glad you like the fic, but how are they accurate if they're out of character? *is puzzled* Well whatever, a lot of this is my personal fanon, so yeah, OOC-ness tends to occur. Meh.

**Hysterical Insanity:** I'm glad your enjoying the fic so far! Oh, and I'm sure most people would agree with me, Genkishi = a twat. It's the damn truth.

**RayneStrife:** Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my internet wife. Lol I love you and your insanely long review Rayne! It made me giddy =)And thanks for adding me on FB! I has a sexeh wife *wink*

**Kyoasaurus: **But Viper is awesome! D: And I ask myself that on a regular basis lol And yes, I do believe that is a rather large influence on Spanner's eating habits (SPANNER HAS THE MUNCHIEEEESSSS)

**Lulu-Ichigo:** That is one of my top ten favorite scenes in all of anime. And here it be madam, I hope you like it =)

**Reni-is-Ishida:** You're very welcome! Yeah Sho-chan's not a psychopath with a God-complex lol

**Yuki949:** They're coming soon, don't worry =)

**Deza-mono:** Oh okay lol Just clearing that up, and invade away! That's the purpose of a profile, after all. And of course smiley face! Shouichi's virginity was a sin against humanity. Luckily Byakuran was here to save the day lol

**xxx Black Dark Ace xxx:** Who doesn't? But I have to admit, as far as incredibly dynamic anime characters go, he is definitely one of the most fascinating. Same with L. And Sho-chan is far from innocent…hehehehe.

**Keraii:** Gahh! Isn't it? I love them both! I'm seriously considering doing both for con. And yes, I totally implied yaoi *winks* And fuckyeahpimpmasterbootyvello!

**Miss Fabulously Feisty:** I'm glad you liked your fic! And oh hell yeah! Team Spanner FTW!

**Human:** LMAO best anon name ever. And I see you too enjoy your beats fast with the bass down low. Do I smell a fellow dubstepper?

**Death By Sebby:** Genkishi's eyebrows bring out the awkwardness in us all. -Wait what?

**Reidluver:** Indeed it does. You'll see why. I've got something in mind for our little Tsuna-fish… kufufu no fu! And I adore the ReboCon vids! Thank you for showing them to me! There is this awesome one of Yuki Fujiwara doing Bel's laugh live. Uggh…I ruined a perfectly good pair of pants. But you didn't need to know that… And I'm glad this one made you laugh too! #16 is one of my favorites too. I can so see that happening! Spanner would be like -.- Sho-kun, quit it and Shouichi would be like *tugtug*

**Stupid Cow:**Get off the floor woman! You're gonna get dirty =( Oh and I'm totally doing Spanner soon!

**Darkeflame:** *cries in corner* Really? Aww I'm so bummed out ;_; Please don't turn emo! I'm sad that you didn't feel this chapter measured up to the last ones. I hope this one makes up for it =(

**Skywolf 27:** New Account WOOT. Disturbia Squalo? That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life. LMAO. Disturbia! Feel the VOI in you tonightttt~

**CarlileLovesAnime:** Thank You *blushes* And Oh! I'm totally going for it! I know you've been waiting patiently for this chapter =) I hope like hell it was worth the wait!

**DemonicAngel96:** I think all27 is rather cute as well. Tsuna REALLY takes care of his guardians, if you know what I mean *winkwink*

**This is Yukirin:** Aww darn. =( Well to each his own, I guess. But just for the record, a lot of the relationships I've mentioned aren't just romantic pairings. They're also friendships, general relationships and the like. And you're welcome. I'm always glad to hear when someone is enjoying my story.

**Nightsmoke:** Of course you did silly! Should I just leave you out next chapter? Lol I'm kidding! You're welcome! I remember you mentioning that Sho-chan (Pothead-chan XD) was your favorite character a while back, so I'm more than pleased to hear that you liked his chapter. And I snort when I laugh too *so embarrassing!* And oh yeah, Spanner would SO do weed lol As a matter of fact, I can see several characters in the show having a love of cannabis…I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before. Also, Sho-chan does indeed looks like someone who would be allergic to everything lol How troublesome!

**TheLuciferPerson:** Um… that was total yaoi implication. Lol And yeah, SPANNER is coming up soon, don't worry. I've gotten a shit-ton of requests for him, so he'll probably be next. Oh and in regard to your statement about Tsuna. Yeah…you could argue that point for A LOT of the characters in KHR. It's a matter of opinion. There are several characters that I dislike rather intensely (I'm not going to mention who, because I might piss a lot of people off if I go on one of my tangents) but I, for one, happen to really like Tsuna, thank you very much, and I don't think he's stereotypical at all. Admittedly, I didn't care much for him when I first started watching the show, but he grew on me really quick. That's saying something, because I NEVER like the protagonist(s) of a show. I find his character really endearing, and I came to appreciate the changes Tsuna goes through as the series progresses. But like I said, it's a matter of opinion. And he has to be last for a specific reason related to the story, that's all.

Oh boy…with that all being said, let's move on the fic, shall we? It art Basil's turn-eth to be strucketh with…uh… I dunno dude, it's Basil's turn. I suck at Shakespearean English lol I just add –eth to everything and Bam. Shakespeare. LOL

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. How bloody unfortunate.

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Basil!

* * *

1. Basil has been under Iemitsu's care since he was a baby. As such, Basil was groomed for fighting and the mafia life since he was old enough to walk.

2. Basil is NOT Iemitsu's illegitimate love child, despite certain rumors floating around the Vongola. Basil does not appreciate such slanderous statements being made behind his back, thank you very much.

3. Basil's weapon doubles as a boomerang, but he's too afraid to use it like that. He has this irrational fear that if he throws it and tries to catch it, he'll get his fingers sliced off or something. He has a rather active imagination when left to his own devices.

4. Basil was unaware that his hair was quote/unquote 'fabulous' until Haru and Kyoko brought it up one night over dinner. He maintains that he doesn't do anything for it to look the way it does other than wash it, but the two girls remain skeptical. His hair is just way too perfect to be natural.

5. Basil is, ironically, allergic to basil.

6. Basil learned to speak by reading and listening to translated Old English literature. Iemitsu never had time to teach Basil how to read when he was little, so he had Oregano purchase some books and audio tapes. Unfortunately, there seemed to have been a rather large misunderstanding. When Iemitsu said 'formal,' he **didn't **mean Shakespeare.

7. Basil, despite the fact that he learned his manner of speaking from it, actually finds Shakespearean literature extremely boring. Which is also quite ironic about him, since he talks like he walked right off the set of 'Hamlet' or something.

8. Basil still can't believe that Iemitsu made him learn Japanese by reading old folk tales from the Feudal era in Japan. Honestly. Couldn't he have just ordered 'Rosetta Stone' for him like a normal person? Now he sounds ridiculous in Italian AND Japanese. Thanks Iemitsu. You sadist.

9. Basil, while not extraordinarily devoted to his religion, is Roman Catholic. He makes it a point to do confessional at least twice a year.

10. Basil loves gardening. A lot. When he isn't busy, he spends his time tending the gardens around the Vongola estate, as well as around CEDEF headquarters.

11. Basil, speaking of gardening, has a thing for flower print shirts. There's no real reason why, he just instantly gravitates towards them every time he goes shopping.

12. Basil has extremely sensitive teeth. Which is rather unfortunate, because he happens to really like ice cream and other cold treats, but he is afraid to eat them because it hurts like hell.

13. Basil is terrified of flying. Iemitsu was more than a little embarrassed the first time he flew with the younger man; he had to literally knock Basil unconscious after he flew into a paranoid frenzy about how the plane was going to explode and they were all going to die. It took a hell of a lot of charm and persuasion before T.S.A. let them on the plane.

14. Basil has an overactive bladder. He still wonders how on Earth he survived the final battle with Byakuran and the six real funeral wreaths when he had to pee the whole bloody time.

15. Basil makes the most incredible blueberry pancakes you will ever have the pleasure of stuffing down your esophagus. Despite his inability to cook anything else, his 'sexual desire inducing' (courtesy of Iemitsu) pancakes could give Lussuria and his world-famous chocolate chip pancakes a run for his money.

16. Basil doesn't watch much TV, but for some reason unknown to even him, he loves to watch Oprah. It doesn't matter where he is or what he's doing. At four o'clock sharp, he drops everything and runs to the TV. Once, during a meeting at Vongola headquarters, Basil got up and left out of the blue. When Tsuna asked his father where Basil was going, the members of the CEDEF simply chuckled and his father said, "Oh don't worry. He'll be back when Oprah's over."

17. Basil always introduces himself as Basil, instead of Basilicum. This is due to a rather lewd nickname given to him by certain members of the Varia who will not be named at this point in time.

18. Basil secretly dreads sparring with Tsuna. As loyal as he is to Tsuna and his father, being punched by Tsuna in Hyper Dying Will Mode is like being hit with a planet. Seriously. Basil never WALKS away from a sparring session. He limps away. Not that the same doesn't go for Tsuna as well, but… jeewiz.

19. Basil is a bit gullible. Because he doesn't understand the concept of 'slang,' he tends to take things at face value. For this reason, he is usually the easiest person to pull pranks on.

20. Basil's flame is blue, as opposed to orange-red like Tsuna's not just because of the fact that his eyes are blue, but also because his flames burns hotter than Tsuna's.

21. Basil…is a cheesecake fiend. He reacts to cheesecake much the way Fran reacts to chocolate pudding. Something like this: OwO. Yeah. Just like that.

22. Basil may not look it, but he has a rather unexpected love of American hip-hop. Which is quite a comical idea in and of itself, seeing how he doesn't understand ninety percent of what they're talking about. Gokudera still has trouble keeping the grin off of his face every time he stumbles upon Basil singing along to 'Like a G6.'

23. Basil loves washing dishes. He finds an odd sort of satisfaction in a sink full of sparkling white plates and glasses so clean you could see your reflection in them. Please don't ask.

24. Basil hates talking to the Varia. ESPECIALLY Fran and Belphegor. Every time he has to interact with the assassins, the two of them insist on making fun of the way he talks by saying extremely derogatory and outrageous things in Old English speak.

25. Basil is a terrible liar.

26. Basil turns into Rihanna when he's intoxicated. There is a horrifically incriminating video floating around the Vongola of Basil drunkenly slaughtering 'S&M' in a coconut bra at a Vongola party one year after someone spiked the punch bowl. The only one who_ doesn't_ know about 'the tape' is Basil himself.

27. Basil can't stand red meat. He prefers lean meat, such as chicken over fatty, bloody beef any day.

28. Basil, in addition to being a skilled fighter, also has a good eye for photography. It's a favorite pastime of Basil's to take a trip down to the city, and spend the entire day photographing daily life in Italy. He has dozens of albums stacked in room of places he's been and people he has seen.

29. Basil always sings in the shower.

30. Basil makes it a point to avoid Fran and Mukuro like the plague. He's not too keen on joining in that _ménage à trois _they keep trying to coerce him into every time he has to interact with the two of them. One day they'll get the message. Hopefully.

31. Basil is, surprisingly, still a virgin. How he managed to stay that way is beyond everyone's realm of comprehension, especially with such lascivious…'offers' such as the one mentioned in #30 constantly coming his way.

32. Basil has rather funny tendency to state the obvious. He incurs a collective facepalm from the others at least once a day.

33. Basil had the biggest crush on Oregano when he was old enough to express interest in the opposite sex.

34. Basil's favorite color is red. He's always believed it when people say red is the color of power, and as such, he's noticed that he feels more energetic and lively when he wears red. Now, he always makes it a point to wear at least one red item every day.

35. Basil has always wanted to swim with dolphins. They're such beautiful creatures, and perhaps it will strengthen the bond between himself and Alfin.

36. Basil will go out of his way to avoid a potentially awkward or nerve-wrecking situation. His voice tends to crack rather embarrassingly when he's nervous, even as an adult. It's like going through puberty all over again.

37. Basil can't stand it when people leave the seat up in the bathroom. He's well aware that it is a rather feminine pet peeve, but it just bothers the hell out of him. It's called common courtesy dammit.

38. Basil is a huge fan of Andrea Bocelli. He has always wanted to see him live.

39. Basil is a little too wise for his age. He has seen and experienced things that people twice his age can only imagine.

40. Basil, true to his element, also tends to be the mediator in squabbles between the Vongola guardians. The sense of peace and harmony that radiates from him somehow eases the tension in any situation, and the bickering guardians usually end up simpering and walking away, all the while issuing empty threats to each other.

41. Basil has read his Helper's book from cover to cover at least thirty times. Understandably, he knows every single piece of information written inside.

42. Basil, unlike Squalo, who detests the rain with all of his being despite it being his flame element, happens to find stormy weather quite beautiful. Not to say he doesn't enjoy a sunny day, but it's just something about an overcast, rainy day that brings him a sense of inner solace. He's not sure if it's because of the fact that he has a rain flame, or if it's just a personal preference.

43. Basil was Tsuna's first kiss. A little accident during training lead to a rather…_compromising _change in proximity…which lead to awkward smiles and flushed cheeks…which lead to a curious peck…which lead to a full-on make out session…which lead to numerous 'Hiiiies!' and 'My apologies, Tsuna-dono's!'…which all ultimately lead to **very **awkward training sessions for a few weeks.

44. Basil is the person that everyone goes to for advice. Basil is one of the most accepting members of Tsuna's family; he feels he has no right to judge others, and he always has an answer to anyone's problem.

45. Basil passed out the first time he ingested two Dying Will pills. The sudden onset of the Hyper awareness proved to be too much for his senses. He was knocked out cold for two days.

46. Basil is proud to be one of the people who helped Tsuna attain the level of power that he has. It gives him an immeasurable sense of pride in both Tsuna and himself when he remembers how meek and unsure of himself the Vongola Decimo was, and then seeing him as he is now, a confident, powerful mafia don, and realizing he helped him get there.

47. Basil knows it wasn't his fault, but he still feels a bit of regret for not being able to protect Tsuna and his friends the first time they encountered Squalo. Because of his careless assumptions and Squalo's overwhelming power, he not only led Squalo straight to them, but then had to watch as he thrashed them one by one. It's still something he's secretly ashamed of, even though Tsuna and the others have told him numerous times that it wasn't his fault.

48. Basil has never met his parents. His mother and father were both witnesses to a murder committed by a rival mafia family, and are currently in the witness protection program. He wants so badly to be able to meet them, to speak with them, hell, even just to _see_ them would be enough to satisfy his curiosity. He knows it can never happen though, because it could jeopardize their safety. So when Tsuna or someone else asks about his parents, it takes every ounce of self-control he has not to break down and tell them everything. It's easier to pretend they don't exist.

49. Basil isn't even sure if 'Basil' is his real name, or just a code name to protect his identity. He wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't.

50. Basil despite his secretly burning desire to meet his biological parents is proud to have a guardian as caring as Iemitsu. The man took him under his wing as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and Basil has come to see him and the other members of the CEDEF, and now the Vongola, as his family. Iemitsu is his father, and Tsuna, his brother.

* * *

Explanations:

#6 and #7: I know that Basil only speaks Japanese in such outdated lingo as 'thee' and thy,' but it's all good. I thought it'd be funny if he just spoke like that all the time. I love Basil lol

#14: Uh...I dunno...Basil just looks like someone who would have to pee all the time. Yeah yeah, I'm weird, I know.

#16: I was watching Oprah lol

#22: I just think the idea of Basil liking rap and hip-hop is extremely hilarious.

#26: I was listening to this song while planning out this chapter, and somehow, the mental image of Basil singing this song in a coconut bra while intoxicated stuck in my mind. Yeah I'm fucked up. =/

#30: While doing research, I noticed that a lot of authors pair up Basil with Mukuro. I don't really remember their relationship in the show, so would someone tell me why?

#48: I don't think Basil's parents are ever mentioned in the show, are they? Correct me if I'm wrong please.

So what did you guys think? Hey CarlileLovesAnime, I especially hope you enjoyed it =)

Anyway, so Reborn is next. Admittedly, I wanted to save him for later, but since so many of you have been rquesting him in your reviews, I must oblige. After Reborn, it's who ever you pick. Oh and don't forget, next chapter is my experimental chapter for my new idea, so if there's anything YOU wanna know about Reborn, anything at all, leave a question in your review as well. No subject is taboo! This is the mafia after all.

Until next time!~

-Sushi*Bomb


	14. Reborn

A/N: Hey peeps, how's it hangin'? Ahem, welcome back to the next wonderful chapter of Classified Information!

So firstly, I have some good news and bad news. I'll start with the bad. As many of you know, I planned on cosplaying Fran this year at MetroCon in June. Unfortunately, due to circumstances that were out of my control, I won't be able to until later this year. I'm really bumbed out, because Fran's one of my favorite characters, and I really wanted to go as Bel and Fran with my friend. But whatever. Okay, good news. I'm considering cosplaying Dino or Bianchi instead. I'm leaning more towards Bianchi, simply because I think she's cool, and she has a variety of outfits to choose from. Plus I get to walk around with a plate of cake emitting creepy purple miasma lol not to mention I like her tattoo. So yeah.

Second, I'm thrilled that you all thought my new idea was good! I got plenty of awesome questions from you all, and it really helped move the CI! process along more smoothly.

Third, I lol'd at how many requests I got for a fanfic based on #43 of Basil's chapter. You know, that fic just might happen in the near future… =)

Shout-outs and Q&A:

**KimmyKimii**: Oh thanks for telling me. I wonder what the basis behind that pairing is? Hmmm…

**Miss Fabulously Feisty:** Thanks for your question! And thankya thankya, your sweet compliments are always welcome =)

**Boomzgleeks:** Wow really? I can't even do that, and I wrote it lol

**The Raging Alcoholic aka Reidluver:** I hope you like your new nickname lol I'm sorry…I'm not letting that go! Thanks for your generous pool of questions dude! They were good ones too. And yes, that is the video I'm talking about! Ushishi~! Datte Ore Ouji-sama =3 I love saying that.

**Thatgdxbdgirl:** Thanks for all the questions! And I totally agree with you on Haru, I think there's more to her than the silly side. In fact, there is a really amazing story about Haru called…shit I don't remember, but it's written by one of my favorite authors, _**Nightsmoke**_ (shameless promoting occurring now, but it's all good, because it's a great story and deserves recognition!) about Haru and her interest in firearms. It's kinda dark, but amazingly written. If you think of Haru as something other than what she is in the show, you'll appreciate the story.

**Cross-over-lover232:** LOL your question made me laugh XD

**Yuki949:** Thanks for the great questions! Haru will be up soon, just keep requesting her!

**Lulu-Ichigo:** Yeah me neither, until I saw it with my own two eyes O.o

**Kyon-kyon:** Spanner's a'comin! Keep your panties on! And yes, I to want Basil's perfect skater boy hair. *Has frizzy, curly hair and hates it 95% of the time D:*

**Skywolf:** I like Tsuna too. I think he's awesome, I mean, as far as protagonists go.

**Nightsmoke:** You're gonna beat my ass over the internet…but I'm not quite sure who Julie is D: *ducks* I'm waaay behind on the Reborn manga, since I actually stopped following the series after I finished watching it. Please don't hurt me D: Oh! But I DO know who Enma is! And I know who Adelheid is, since I've seen manga scans of her, and her boobs. Oh the boobs. Damn.

**Stupid Cow:** Thanks for the questions! And yes, they just get longer and longer. I don't know why. So his parents aren't mentioned at all? Aww, that's so sad. Poor Basil.

**DarkeFlame:** I won't turn emo lol And I will keep writing forevaaaa! And thanks for the questions =)

**Hi Hikari no Kaze:** Oh I don't mind at all! More ideas for me to work with! Thanks a bunch! And yeah, I try to have a good balance of humor and seriousness in every chapter, because there's more to each character than meets the eye. It isn't all fun and games, ya know?

**Keraii:** Sleeping in a dumpster. J/K I've been busy is all. School, work, other fanfics, life in general. Thanks for the questions! And you know, I bet they did lol I would pay to see the reactions of everyone who didn't know what that was. I imagine their faces looked a bit like this: O.O

**TheLuciferPerson:** Thanks for the questions!

**CarlileLovesAnime:** Great minds think alike ~.- And thanks for the questions!

I know I skipped a lot of reviews this time, but please don't be mad/sad. It's really late and I'm practically falling asleep as I'm typing, but I really wanted to get this up tonight, so I couldn't take the time to answer every single review like I usually do. I wanted to make sure everyone who dropped a question got credit, but I certainly appreciate every single review/fave/alert! Keep reviewing, because reviews really make my day!

And now onto the chapter!

It's Reborn's turn to fess up the goods on C.I.! I just want you all to be aware that for his chapter, as well as for all of the Arcobaleno members' chapters, the first half is for Adult! Reborn, and the second half is for baby Reborn. A couple of you noticed that I did that for Viper/Mammon's chapter earlier in the series, and I'm gonna do that for all of the Arcobaleno, because they had lives before the transformation.

Okay I'm done talking. NOW READ!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. And…yeah. No witty joke today…I don't own it. Wish I did though D:

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Reborn!

* * *

1. Reborn takes exactly one hour to curl his sideburns every morning. Half-hour on each side. What, you didn't _really_ think they curl that perfectly on their _own_, did you?

2. Reborn is a chain-smoker. He's already quit forty-seven times, but everytime he reaches his stress limit, he only has eyes for his packet of Marlboros. But he can quit when he wants to. Really. Seriously.

3. Reborn is a _bit_ of a metrosexual. Just because he kills people for a living doesn't mean he has to look like a slob while doing so. As such, Reborn currently owns thirty-something suits, and each is hand-tailored and probably cost more than the down-payment on a house. And that doesn't even include the matching fedoras.

4. Reborn has never been sick in his life.

5. Reborn is smarter than Verde. The two once took an I.Q. test out of simple curiosity, and Reborn ended up scoring four points higher than Verde did; Verde got a 179, and Reborn got a 183. But while they are both in the 'genius' intelligence range, Reborn is much more reserved about it. He doesn't feel the need to rub it in everyone's face, unlike Verde.

6. Reborn may not look it, but he is a master of the grill. Aside from training, there really wasn't much to do up in that cabin, so he took up cooking as a hobby, particularly grilling. He can say, without ego, that he is the King of Steak. The other members of the Arcobaleno will gladly attest to that fact.

7. Reborn takes forever to get ready. Whenever they were going out or something, no matter where, the other members of the Arcobaleno would tell him two hours in advance, so that by the time they were ready to leave, he'd actually be ready on time. And they STILL had to wait another twenty minutes.

8. Reborn enjoys spicy foods. In fact, he is the only person who can eat Fon's Super Kick Your Ass Spicy Chicken Curry ™ without immediately running to the bathroom and hurling up an organ.

9. Reborn always listens to Frank Sinatra when he cleans his guns. Nothing like Old Blue Eyes to get you in the mood for murder, huh?

10. Reborn happens to detest hard liquor. He considers himself a man of cultured tastes, and as such, he would much prefer a glass of '56 Merlot over a shot of vodka anyday.

11. Reborn is something of a ladykiller. He has always found it easy to charm women and is a seductively smooth talker. Luce used to tell him that if he wanted to, he could probably talk a woman right out of wedlock. But what Luce doesn't know is that he really did. And he was planning on marrying that woman, until this whole Arcobaleno ordeal started. There was no way he would be a suitable husband as an infant.

12. Reborn is the only person allowed to sit in Nono's special chair. Timoteo honestly doesn't mind, but it wouldn't matter if he did, because he knows Reborn would happily plant his ass in his favorite chair regardless of whether he was allowed or not.

13. Reborn hated Luce when all of the Arcobaleno members first began living together. They all did, as they were each forced out of their respective lifestyles to participate in this 'charade,' as Reborn used to call it, all because of a prophetic dream she had. But over a short time, that mutual hatred developed into a slight dislike, then a reluctant respect, to a vehemently denied comaraderie, to an ill-disguised adoration. Luce really is too sweet a woman to hate forever.

14. Reborn however, did NOT knock up Luce. Ignore the rumors floating around that there was more going on in that cabin than Arcobaleno business, or Reborn will _help _you ignore them. In case anyone hasn't noticed, she was already pregnant when the Arcobaleno formed, therefore, shut up. He and Luce are simply close friends, who happen to bicker like they've been married for decades. Nothing more, nothing less.

15. Reborn does not have a 'thing' with Colonello either. While it is true that they share many common interests, i.e. killing, fighting, bossing Skull around, not to mention they happened to be childhood friends, that doesn't necessarily mean they're bum-chums, does it? Besides, Lal is very possessive of her dic-_student_. I meant to say student. Smiley face.

16. Reborn did develop a bisexual streak over time though. He is admittedly a bit of a horndog, and being cooped up in a stuffy old cabin for over a year with four men, a pregnant woman, and a perpetually bitchy military chick does nothing for a man's libido. And well…after a while, things got…_interesting_. He always tells himself that it was okay, since Fon was sort of feminine-looking and Viper had that whole 'androgynous' thing going on. Close enough, right?

17. Reborn, contrary to popular belief, was not born into the mafia lifestyle. He has always kept his past private, but truthfully, his parents were both normal, working-class people; his mother was a seamstress, and his father was a hat maker. After their murders, Reborn began wearing fedoras religiously, in memory of his parents. Fedoras were his father's favorites.

18. Reborn, speaking of his parents, gets his rather odd cosplaying fetish from his mother. As a professional seamstress, not to mention as a testament to her outlandish personality, she was often seen in costume, and often made costumes for Reborn. It was just a love that stuck with him to adulthood, and he enjoys wearing them from time to time. DON'T TELL ANYONE OR YOU WILL DIE A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH.

19. Reborn will never ever admit this, but he is actually quite fond of Skull. As useless, cowardly, and goofy as the ex-stuntman may be, he is the spark that livens up the otherwise stoic and reserved members of the Arcobaleno, and Reborn is glad that the kid had the apparent talents to be considered worthy of joining. Besides, it's nice to have a personal whipping boy. Skull is so easy to boss around it's almost embarrassing.

20. Reborn fired a gun for the first time when he was nine years old. He discovered he was a deadshot, and had a natural talent for killing. He still owns the gun, a 1930 Galesi Model 9 .22 Caliber Automatic. It is one of his most treasured possessions, and he keeps it under lock and key in his room at the Vongola mansion.

21. Reborn is the second richest hitman in the world, Viper being the first. Reborn's murderous talents are sought after by many mafia families, and naturally, his price tag is one even the most powerful and wealthy Mafiosos have given a quadruple take. A bullet between the eyes from half a mile away is no easy feat, and it doesn't come cheap either.

22. Reborn was blackmailed into becoming a hitman. Over the years, Reborn clawed, stabbed, shot, and bludgeoned his way to becoming the strongest hitman in the world. But no matter how great he became, the names of his parent's killers remained just out of his reach, being dangled in front of him on a string by the most despicable of Mafia Dons. At least, before the Vongola stepped in and claimed Reborn for themselves.

23. Reborn never felt more empty than when he finally did get the names and put a bullet right between the eyes of the men that murdered his parents in cold blood. All of this time, revenge had been his driving force, his reason for everything he did, but now that he accomplished his goal…he felt…hollow. He had killed hundreds of people just to get his hands on those names, but for what? It didn't bring them back.

24. Reborn isn't sure if he'll ever forgive Nono for forcing him into becoming an Arcobaleno. He honestly believed that as the Ninth's most accomplished hitman and most trusted friend, that he was untouchable…that is until Luce showed up on the Vongola's doorstep proposing the resurrection of the Arcobaleno and spotting nonsense about dreams and prophetic visions. What a load of bullshit.

25. Reborn was secretly the one that was most afraid that fateful day up on the mountain. Reborn wasn't one that was accustomed to great changes, and was inwardly satisfied with the life he was living up until that point. But with one pained look at his now tiny hand and a stifled scream, he realized that life as he knew it was over forever. He doubted he'd ever fully welcome and accept the change.

26. Reborn has an unimaginably perceptive mind, and he is well aware of this, but when Timoteo showed him Tsuna's picture and told him that he needed to groom this awkward looking boy to become the next Vongola boss, Reborn nearly spit out his coffee. What in the nine circles of hell did Nono see in this pathetic looking kid that he didn't?

27. Reborn is a bathroom hog. Tsuna is late to school three out of six days a week because Reborn gets in before him and never comes out. Well, old habits die hard, and in Reborn's case, it takes time to look that sharp every single day. Infant or not.

28. Reborn is also a militant neat-freak. Tsuna's room used to be a war-zone, until Reborn moved in. Now Tsuna's floor is so clean you could eat off of it. I wouldn't recommend that, of course, but you know, if the need ever arises, you can take comfort in the fact that you're eating off of a spotless surface.

29. Reborn is a great substitute for an alarm clock. Who needs an annoying, shrill sounding alarm clock, when a strategic kick in the nuts from Reborn is just as effective? Boy, Tsuna is still wondering how isn't singing soprano already.

30. Reborn really does care about Bianchi, really. But not the way she cares about him. He wouldn't be so condescending as to call it puppy love, as he dated her for quite a while, and almost married her, but he realized that what he felt for her was closer to brotherly love. Besides, Reborn is old enough to be her grandfather, if you really think about it, and as far as he's concerned, Reborn is not a cradle-robber. Thank you very much.

31. Reborn has always trusted his instincts above all else, especially when it comes to spotting hitmen in a crowd. Call it paranoia from his pre-Arcobaleno days, but learning how to spot potential assassins in a crowd has kept him alive this long. And it was this uncanny sense that told him Yamamoto was a natural born hitman. Upon seeing the dangerous gleam in Yamamoto's eyes when he swung his baseball bat, Reborn knew that that the happy-go-lucky teen would be just as precise with a sword. Same with Ryohei and Hibari. His instincts haven't been wrong yet.

32. Reborn found Leon in the underground Black Market trade. He just happened to be parusing the shady avenue on Vongola business that day when he spotted a tiny, odd-looking green gecko in a small cage balanced precariously on the corner of a stand. To this day he isn't sure why he was drawn to it; he wasn't particularly fond of reptiles and the like, but this strange little gecko beckoned him over, and when he asked, the owner of the stand simply said that it was 'special.' Reborn later found out that 'special' was a _bit_ of an understatement.

33. Reborn tries not to notice, but sometime he can't help but admit to himself that Tsuna really is kind of adorable, in that awkward, dorky sort of way. He's the kind of person that, if Reborn still had his original body, would be forever red in the face from all of the perverted things Reborn would take sadistic pleasure in saying and doing to him.

34. Reborn is secretly very glad Tsuna was born a boy and not a girl. He honestly has no control over what the Dying Will Bullet makes people do, i.e. their clothes spontaneously coming off…so…yeah, potentially awkward situation avoided, thanks to the Hyper Intuition of Tsuna's chromosomes.

35. Reborn knew Gokudera would be the perfect candidate to be the storm guardian for the Vongola and Tsuna's right-hand man almost immediately after looking over his file. With his brilliant mind and desperate need to belong, Reborn felt no one was more suited than Smokin' Bomb Hayato to become not only the 10th generation storm guardian, but an eventual friend to Dame-Tsuna.

36. Reborn learned how to sleep with his eyes open specifically to freak people out. It never gets old when he randomly dozes off and he half-hears Tsuna's loud "Heeee!" when he realizes that Reborn was staring at him while sleeping, but more importantly, that he hadn't heard one word he had just said.

37. Reborn is really good at maximizing space. Example: Reborn was once body searched in a police station (don't ask) for weapons. Let's put it this way, with the amount of guns, bombs, knives, ammunition, etc. Reborn had stashed in his suit, the guards checking him filled up an entire jail cell. And they had only checked his jacket.

38. Reborn has cosplayed many things; all of the Vongola guardians, everyone in the Varia, the Millefiore, and tons upon tons of random people/items (if you remember Master Pao Pao and Professor Boreen). But secretly, his all time favorite cosplay was Tsuna in his dying will mode. And only because of the boy's epic freak out session at the sight of Reborn's clothes spontaneously burning off and him running around the house with a megaphone shouting about ' screwing Kyoko senseless with his Dying Will' in tiny boxers that said "I love Kyoko-chan" all over them. That was a good day.

39. Reborn is a master of manipulation and psychological warfare. There is some debate over whether Reborn should have been a sun flame or a mist flame, because honestly, Tsuna has seen Reborn work his magic on countless occasions, and Reborn could even give Mukuro a run for his money. Power like a sun flame, but a clever, conniving mind that screams mist flame. Tsuna wouldn't be surprised if Reborn just randomly started conjuring illusions one day. He's done more impressive things, really.

40. Reborn is an extremely light sleeper. There's no particular reason or anything, he just doesn't sleep much. He finds this to be rather troublesome, really, because he'd be more than happy to have a full night's rest. But while everyone goes to sleep, he often sits alone in the kitchen, with his only his racing mind for company.

41. Reborn started drinking espresso religiously only after he became an infant. True, he has always fancied a cup of cappuccino with a double shot of espresso, but after becoming an infant he was forced to quit his rather binding nicotine habit, and thus, espresso became a pleasant substitute.

42. Reborn was secretly a bit excited when he learned that Mammon was trying to break the Arcobaleno curse. If there was anyone capable of figuring out the curse and breaking it, it was most definitely the psychic mist guardian. But in the end, Mammon only got as far as suppressing it with a mere chain. Reborn supposes that's a good start.

43. Reborn sometimes finds himself wondering if there is more to Nana Sawada than meets the eye. He can usually tell when someone has had some sort of combat/hitman training, and it is clear that Nana has never even hurt a fly. But it's just _something_ about her almost sickeningly sweet, tolerant demeanor and convenient obliviousness that makes Reborn second guess her. And then he sees the knowing looks the petite woman gives her son and his friends as they speak in hushed whispers at the table, and Reborn realizes that Nana Sawada is quite talented at playing the fool.

44. Reborn is a hardcore sadist. Dino can wholeheartedly attest to that fact. He realized this fact the first day the infant hitman came to train him after his father's illness took a turn for the worst. He specifically remembers Reborn greeting him with a swift roundhouse kick to the jaw that sent him flying down the stairs. And then he smiled. And so, if you look in the dictionary next to the word 'sadist,' you will find a messily taped picture of Reborn perched on the unconscious body of one Dino Cavallone, calmly sipping his capuccino without a care in the world, the barest hint of smirk on his face.

45. Reborn doesn't mind Lambo as much as everyone thinks he does. While he may be annoying, selfish, and a bit of a crybaby, Reborn understands why Lambo acts the way he does. He feels like he has something to prove, to people who don't give a rat's ass about him. It's not a position Reborn himself has ever been in, but he is sympathetic to the young hitman's plight, and if trying to kill him gives Lambo a sense of worth, then Reborn has no problem allowing the game to continue. If there's one thing Reborn has plenty of, it's definitely patience.

46. Reborn had mixed feelings about seeing the other members of the Arcobaleno again. He knew it was inevitable that they would all cross paths again, due to their duties as Arcobaleno naturally, but…seeing them brought back a lot of unwanted memories of his former days. Memories that he thought were gone forever. Perhaps Shamal hadn't buried them as deep as he had meant to.

47. Reborn doesn't remember his real name. When Shamal erased his past, he erased everything. And Reborn wanted it that way. He knew that the only way his mental health would stay intact throughout this transition was to deny everything he was up until that point. It was a painful process, but in the end it, was for the best.

48. Reborn rarely panics or worries about things, nor does he scare easy. But he honestly cannot remember a time when he was more afraid than when Tsuna and the others could not defeat him during the Arcobaleno Trials. The fact that they struggled that much against one single person, infant or not, Arcobaleno or not, gave Reborn an unsettling feeling in his stomach, because if this is how they faired against him together, then he couldn't imagine them standing a chance against Byakuran and the real six Funeral Wreaths. And time was not on their side.

49. Reborn still has a hard time believing that Tsuna really is the Vongola Decimo. He occasionally wonders if perhaps Nono has indeed gone senile, choosing someone as cowardly and goofy as Dame-Tsuna to be the successor of the Vongola name. But then he sees how much Tsuna cares for his family and how valiantly he fights to protect them, and he suddenly sees what Nono saw. Tsuna is a genuine, loving, and compassionate soul, and Reborn realizes that this is exactly what the blood-soaked name of the Vongola needs.

50. Reborn is not one to gush about things, and certainly not one to offer heart-felt compliments out loud, but he is damn proud to have been the tutor and subsequently the guiding force for Tsuna and his family. Vongola Decimo and his merry band of misfits are more powerful than even Reborn had imagined they'd become, and he knows that with that strength, they will do great things in this scarred and divided world of the Mafia.

* * *

Explanations:

#5: I've heard in a lot of places that Reborn is supposed to be really intelligent. Which makes sense, if he doubles as a famous math professor (Boreen).

#9: If you happen to be a fan, or at least know something about Frank Sinatra, Old Blue Eyes was rumored to have Mafia connections. I just imagine Reborn as a jazzy/blues kinda guy.

#14: She was. Seriously.

#20: I actually researched old Italian made firearms, and I thought that one sounded the coolest. Lol

#27: If I remember correctly, in Japan they go to school on Saturday too, don't they? Correct me if I'm wrong, because I didn't feel like looking it up. =/

#30: Their relationship is really confusing to me. I wish Reborn! didn't have so many freaking loopholes and time jumps and weird age-gaps. It makes for a very confused Sushi*Bomb doing research on character histories and ages while tearing out her hair in frustration because this show makes no damn sense.

#43: I'm sorry, but no one can possibly be that freaking oblivious!

This chapter was especially difficult to write, because Reborn! Is the title character, and is much more complex than many of the other characters. I hope I did him justice while answering all of your questions, but staying true to my own fanon at the same time D: My head hurts. Going to bed now.

Before I sign off and disappear for another month, does anyone know any good websites where I can read the Reborn manga online? I'm clearly missing out on a lot, and I hate not knowing what's going on. Someone help me please D:!

So, questions, comments, concerns, unexplained bullet holes anywhere in your room or on your body (seek medical attention immediately D: You can review later, I promise)? Let me know! Leave me a nice review! Spanner's officially up next, since he got the most requests after Reborn. If there's anything you wanna know about Spanner, leave a question in your review, along with any requests for the next chapter. =)

Okay guys, kissies!

-S*B


	15. Spanner

A/N: Um…hello everyone… *ducks as random objects are thrown at her* I'm sorry! Stop throwing shit at me!

I know I deserve no less than a thousand lashings! I'm extremely sorry that this is so late coming out! D: I promise it'll never happen again. I've just personally had a lot going on this month. Not to mention I refused to write this chapter until I was done with _Boulevard Nights_, which took up quite a bit of my concentration. I didn't want to leave it sitting for too long, because I knew I would lose my momentum, and that story is one of my personal favorites that I've written so far, so I really wanted to finish it.

Anyway, Chapter 15 of Classified Information! is offically here, so all is right with the world. Smile and Rejoice.

So first things first, Happy Belated Rapture guys!1!1!1! *Sarcasm is heavily implied*Oh my fucking God, what a joke. I think people will laugh about that for years to come. It blows my mind how many people gave credibility to this ridiculous charade. I am not religious by any means, and no offense to people who are, but I find it terribly annoying when these fanatical religious…sects? I guess you could call them, come up with these idiotic doomsday theories, that if you think about it, aren't even based on any sort of logic. I mean, 2012 I can at least comprehend the thought process behind it, but where the hell did they get May 21? What relevance does that date possess that they believed that the Rapture would happen? Literally **none**. Freaking hell. It got silly after five minutes. Even a lot of Christians I know where like, "Nothing is going to happen. You're all drunk."

What I truly find hilarious about the whole situation is that the guy who apparently came up with this whole theory is now saying that his words were taken out of proportion or some shit like that. I'm sorry sir, but there was a FUCKING BILLBOARD ON THE HIGHWAY telling me that quote/unquote "Judgement Day" was coming since freaking January. Yeah, okay, we totally blew _that_ out of proportion. What the fuck ever. There is nothing you could possibly say that will make you look like any less of a jackass, so shut up.

Sorry, I just felt it was necessary to mention my views on that whole shtick. That's my beef with that.

In other news, I am awesome. I finally finished my Associates Degree! Huzzah! That's one part of my journey towards a career completed. Now I have to begin working towards my Bachelor's Degree, and then eventually my Masters. That won't be until next year though. I want to get a new job first and hopefully move out of this goddamn house! I need my space!

Oh and one last thing. Throughout the months June and July, I will be revamping Chapters 1,2, and 3 of Classified Information! Considering Bel, Fran, and Viper are my three favorite characters, I feel that now, compared to how in depth the later chapters are getting, that their chapters simply don't do them any justice. So that'll be my little side project for the summer. And for those of you _wonderful_ *coughsarcasmcough*people that flipped their shit on Chapter 3, I'll be re-writing it with dude!Viper instead of fem!Viper. Ever since writing 'Crawl with the Heretics,' I've pretty much accepted Lulu-Ichigo's amazing headcanon as canon. I just can't see Viper any other way now! lol So a lot of that chapter will be based on that story. Same with Fran and Bel, whose respective headcanons I've added to and expanded upon since writing their chapters.

Alright, I'm done boring you with my inane babbling. On to the Shout-outs and Review Q&A:

****Thanks guys for all the suggestions as to where I could read the Reborn manga. You're all so wonderfully helpful!****

**Takara yume:** Thank you! I am actually quite proud of how Reborn's chapter came out as well, considering I had a hell of a time writing it.

**Flying tofu:** Thanks for your questions! And yeah, I like to make the characters seem like actual people, you know? Adding dimensions.

**KimmyKimii:** Yeah, I agree. Basil and Tsuna are a lot alike, aren't they? And d'aww thank you!

**DatAznKid:** Wow you read this in an hour? O.o Hot damn lol but thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself!

**Miss Fabulously Feisty:** Thank you for your questions! #45 oneshot? Hmmm…perhaps. And yes, #38 should have happened in the show. The amount of respect I would have had for Reborn if he did that would be unfathomable.

**Nameless123:** Thank you for your questions! And they in fact, did not. I just can't see that happening between Reborn and Colonello, to be honest.

**Boomzgleeks:** REBORN IS GOD WOMAN WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING? Just joking lol Everyone's opinion is different. And I am totes flattered that you logged in just to review! I feel special! And omg…your question made me LOL so hard.

**DarkeFlame:** Honest, he really is. But I love him all the same. And thanks for the questions!

**Lolbug:** I will indeed.

**IchigoAngel:** While I am most definitely flattered that you think that, I must fervently disagree. There are some stories that I have read in this fandom that have brought literal tears to my eyes from laughter. And trust me, as someone who is extremely persnickety about fanfiction, that is nearly impossible to do. And yeah, I think Fon does like Mapo Tofu, but I wanted him to have some crazy sounding signature dish. It doesn't really exist though. That's just headcanon.

**LilyMoonstone:** Thanks very much!

**XxXKanbeki**: I can't wait to read your story! And thanks, that's what I aim for with every chapter!

**PenWolf**: Dino's a comin'!

**Kyon-Kyon:** You want me to do…Levi? XDDD Whaaaaat? I'll do him later…eventually.

**Nameless Sky:** Thanks a bunch!

**Reni-is-Ishida:** You're most welcome! I must admit, I do think Reborn x Luce is a rather cute couple, but despite this, I really do think they'd be just friends more than anything.

**Stupid Cow:** It's all good lol And YUS. I think Spanner and Sho-chan are made for each other.

**Alyabunny:** *blushes* aww thank you! And you are most welcome!

**Yuki949:** Oh thank you!

**Mitchiba14:** Yay I'm glad you liked it!

**Keraii:** SLOW PAINFUL DEATH! Reborn doesn't play!

**Nightsmoke:** Oooh… I see, I see. And I think you mean he's the unofficial boyfriend of Adelheid's boobies. Those things should be considered separate entities. O.o And totally! Reborn really looks like someone who chills to jazzy music. Especially Sinatra. I can't wait 'til Amano reveals something shocking about Tsuna's mommy. It's inevitable.

**Lulu-Ichigo:** Mine too! Reborn is amazing (and hot)! And thank you ever so much for the question!

**Anonofanons:** Thankya and Thankya!

**Reidluver: **You are never going to live that down, you dumb fake-prince. And fucking indeed. Squalo's 'ushishishi' was beyond amazing. Lol And thanks for the wonderful pool of questions, they gave me a lot to think about! Oh BTW, in response to the last review you left on B.N., I'm so glad that you liked that! I honestly didn't think anyone would notice. But no, they aren't from a song. I made them up myself! I'm waxing poetic! LMAO

**Insanity Detox**: Muchas Gracias! Glad you're enjoying it!

And now it is finally Spanner's turn to get beat with the CI! Stick o' Death!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. I couldn't be that awesome if I tried. D:

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Spanner!

* * *

1. Spanner built his first robot in kindergarten. Granted, it was made of marshmellows and Popsicle sticks, but still. It was a pretty awesome looking marshmellowbot.

2. Spanner is horrible with time management. He has literally never been on time for anything in his entire life.

3. Spanner started curling his hair when he was young so that his parents would be able to tell him apart from his twin brother. It doesn't matter now, since his brother died of illness, but it is still a habit that stayed with him all the way to adulthood. It brings back good memories of his younger days.

4. Spanner can speak Italian, Japanese, and English.

5. Spanner doesn't really like telling people he's a Black Spell officer. He'll never openly say this, but he thinks that the Black Spell are collectively a bunch of losers. Especially Nosaru. He cries way too much, and everytime he says 'Aniki!' Spanner gets the uncontrollable urge to hit him over the head with a Strau Mosca. It gets quite irritating after .005 seconds.

6. Spanner has been perfecting the recipe for his lollipops, or 'Spanner-pops' as others have taken to calling them since high school. They are made from ginseng and caffeine for concentration, glucose for memory enhancement, Omega-3 Acids for alertness, antioxidants, which cleanse toxins that can compromise brain function, and strawberry syrup, for flavor.

7. Spanner always makes sure to have a batch. The constant sucking and playing with the lollipop actually helps keep him alert and focused…not to mention its good, um…_practice_, if you know what I mean. Heh.

8. Spanner is a hardcore trekkie.

9. Spanner knows how to pilot several types of aircrafts. He was actually one of the very few foreigners **ever** allowed to pilot the American's new B-2 Stealth Bomber before its official use in the U.S. military.

10. Spanner was quite the deliquent when he was in school. Not for the reasons you think though. Spanner never intentionally caused any trouble, it was just that…well…he had a bad habit of taking things apart that _kinda_ really should've been left alone. He maintains that his curiosity as to how certain machines worked always got the better of him.

11. Spanner makes his own bento box lunch every single day. His favorite part of his lunch is the little octopus weiners. He enjoys biting each leg of before eating the whole thing, just a little _too_ much.

12. Spanner has a reported I.Q. of 170. Shouichi beat him by seven points.

13. Spanner knew he found a kindred spirit in Shouichi from the very first time they met. His first day of middle school in Tokyo was completely familiar, and yet a totally new experience all at once. He would be there in Japan only briefly, but his father insisted he go to school while he was there. It was awkward, being the only foreigner in an all –Japanese school, but Spanner was honestly taken aback when the rather pathetic looking red-haired boy sat next to him at lunch and told him he liked his edamame-gundam.

14. Spanner has something of a one-track mind. There were hundreds of times; from childhood all the way to adulthood that Spanner often went without sleep or food for literal days because he had thrown himself so completely into his technological creations. He is a little too dedicated to his work for his own good sometimes.

15. Spanner is not one to believe in pure dumb luck or fate, but for some reason, everytime something life-changing happens to him, he just happens to be wearing his favorite pair of blue Transformers™ boxers. Optimus Prime, bless your non-existent, robotic soul. Love Spanner.

16. Spanner sometimes prefers sleeping in the cockpit of a mosca rather than in an actual bed. Admittedly, it is a bit strange, but Spanner honestly finds the continuous beeping, whirring and humming noises emitting from the machine comforting. They help put him to sleep faster than anything else.

17. Spanner is severly allergic to shellfish. Which is a rather odd thing to be allergic to, considering he didn't really eat much seafood before his Japan obsession began. Needless to say, he found out he was allergic the hard way.

18. Spanner has a small stash of memorable childhood moments involving him and Shouichi, but one of his most precious memories has to be the first day they started working with flammable chemicals in chemistry. In Spanner's defense, chemical compounds don't come as easily to him as they do to Shouichi, and how was he supposd to know that the auto ignition temperature for Phosphorus was only 49 degrees Celsius? Let's jusy say that their teacher had a hell of a time regrowing his eyebrows.

19. Spanner holds the record for the world's largest collection of ratchets. Please don't ask why (or how) he acquired 129,456 ratchets, he just did somehow.

20. Spanner was **literally** the first person on Earth to illegally download Tron Legacy™ before it went out on video. He's always been a fan of the franchise ever since he was a kid, but that doesn't mean he'll go out of his way to pay to own it. Torrents, anyone?

21. Spanner sometimes goes commando under that jumpsuit. Insert suggestive eyebrow wiggle here.

22. Spanner built mini-mosca originally as pet project. But after a while, he found himself getting more and more involved in the process of this little project, and soon, he had an entire shelf of notebooks dedicated to the features and specifications of mini-mosca. He just couldn't stop adding features to his new best friend.

23. Spanner is not only competitive in any and all things machine related, but he is also notoriously competitive in gaming. The only times Shouichi has ever seen Spanner lose his cool is when they play Marvel vs. Capcom 3 online. Spanner can get pretty belligerent when he's getting his ass handed to him by quote/unquote "six-hundred pound forty-year olds who will never succeed in getting laid. Or in life."

24. Spanner is _probably_ the worst driver in Italy. As Shouichi once eloquently worded it, "Spanner…you drive like you have a moral obligation to break as many traffic rules as you can everytime you get behind the wheel. What are you racking up points or something?" In response, Spanner laughed…and then immediately ran a red light.

25. Spanner is an army brat. His father was a decorated officer for the British Military, and as a result, he was often shipped around the world to live on base with him. Spanner didn't mind however. On the contrary, he realized early on that it was a rare chance to experience new cultures.

26. Spanner's family was based in Japan on three separate occasions. It was because of this that his love for the Japanese culture grew into the near obsessive fixation he has today. He often went into the city late at night when he was supposed to be asleep, and as he saw posters and billboards with large anime-mechas on them, and the latest, most advanced technology Japan had to offer on display in the Tokyo shopping district, Spanner realized this was where he really belonged. He would build one of those machines one day.

27. Spanner ended up working for the Millefiore completely by chance. He was personally hired by Byakuran himself after the two met one day when Spanner happened to see a guy parked on the side of the highway with a flat tire. Being the Good Samaritan that he is, Spanner pulled over to lend a hand, and the two ended up talking for hours. It turns out that that white haired fellow was the boss of a powerful mafia family, and was in need of a skilled mechanic in his robotics and technology department. And Spanner, with his mosca concepts in the works, was the perfect candidate.

28. Spanner was honestly considering turning down the offer. He had a position in the Italian Military's Technological Advancement Department as head Technician/Engineer lined up for him once he finished his degree. But that was until he saw whose name was signed on the personal letter inviting him to join the Millefiore. _Irie Shouichi. _At that point, the decision was made for him.

29. Spanner knows it seems a bit suspicious, but he did actually need to strip Tsuna when the boy was knocked unconscious. As thin and frail as he is, Spanner was nearly one-hundred percent certain that Tsuna would definitely catch a cold down in the frigid, drafty room he called his workspace. His clothes were completely soaked, afterall.

30. Spanner was completely at fault for Tsuna's clothes being soaked, by the way. Spanner can be, oh, a bit a klutz sometimes, and he accidentally dropped Tsuna in the water twice before they making it out of the tunnel.

31. Spanner was a bit of a loner as a child. As you can well imagine, his obsession with machines and technology did little in the way of grooming him to become a social butterfly. No one was really interested in having a conversation with the weird blonde foreigner drawing complicated diagrams of model who-knows-whats in the sand at recess when he was supposed to be playing football with the other boys.

32. Spanner has never really given it much thought, but if he really had to pick, he supposes he would be most like a cloud flame. He has matched up his most prominent personality traits with each flame, and he truly is a Cloud. He is much more aloof than most, and his casual betrayal of the Millefiore was so passive, like a cloud mindlessly drifting from one part of the sky to another.

33. Spanner actually got the nickname 'Spanner ' from his grandfather, who was a brilliant mechanic when he was alive. Even when he was young, Spanner showed an affinity for working with tools and building things. He favored wrenches a lot over the other tools for some reason, so after a while, his grandfather just started calling him Spanner.

34. Spanner was born in London, England. Though he didn't live there long, due to his family's constant moving, he still has a faint accent that gets him quite a bit of attention. According to the girls in Tsuna's family, his accent is apparently quite hot.

35. Spanner's favorite flavor is strawberry, but cherry comes in an extremely close second. It really depends what he's eating.

36. Spanner was actually considering getting his tattoo on his wrist at first. That is, until Shouichi insisted that since _he_ designed the tattoo, he should get to pick where it was. Spanner honestly blushed a little when the redhead offhandedly mentioned that he always thought neck tattoos were pretty attractive, and even more so when Shouichi said that he himself had a neck ideal for tattoos.

37. Spanner didn't recognize Shouichi at first when they met again in the Robotics competiton in his junior year of high school. They had only met briefly before, back in middle school, and the redhead changed a lot since then. Spanner noted that he had grown over a foot since then, and his hair got a little redder. Not to mention his glasses were thicker. The boy has horrible eyesight.

38. Spanner, speaking of glasses, has pretty awful vision himself. Sitting in front of computer screens for days does nothing to improve his already diminishing eyesight, so naturally, after a while he needed glasses too. Spanner prefers contacts though.

39. Spanner…isn't saying he's never thought about doing the nasty in the cockpit of a mosca. In fact, it is a secret fantasy that he would rather not tell anyone about. But it would be hot, that's for damn sure.

40. Spanner first started smoking marijuana after falling off of an aircraft carrier he was helping to repair on his father's military base and broke his femur. It was honest to goodness one of the most excrutiating things Spanner had ever experienced in his life, but he had adverse side affects to all of the opiate-enriched painkillers perscribed to him at the hospital upon his discharge. The marijuana soothes his entire body, and numbed his mind to the point that the pain was almost…pleasurable. And he liked that feeling. A lot.

41. Spanner considers himself quite fortunate that Diabetes doesn't run in his family. With the sheer numbers of lollipops he consumes per day, he is certain that if he were a diabetic, he'd probably be dead several times over.

42. Spanner was well aware that he officially betrayed the Millefiore when he took in Tsuna. But at that point, it honestly didn't matter. As far as Spanner was concerned, he had already failed them when Tsuna beat him, and he knew he was the only one that could help the boy perfect his X-Burner.

43. Spanner's initial reaction to hearing about the 'Deflowering of Sho-chan!,' as Byakuran gleefully called it, was to 'accidentally'set the man on fire. But after the bout of rage-fueled pyromania wore off, Spanner was left with feelings of jealously, resentment, and most of all, regret. It irritates him to no end when he realized that, if he had made his move sooner…it could've been him instead of Byakuran.

44. Spanner has given serious thought to building another mini-mosca several times. The little machine was his only real friend for the longest time, since he rarely saw Shouichi. But each time he tries, he can never seem to gather the will to finish. Mini-Mosca was special, and Spanner realizes that if he ever rebuilt it, he would only end up disappointed. It just wouldn't be the same.

45. Spanner honestly has mixed feelings about Byakuran, for the most part. As evil as he is, Byakuran is actually a pretty nice and easy-going guy. But there are certain times that Spanner has noticed a certain…aura about the man. Especially when Shouichi is around. It is this uncanny sense of foreboding that told Spanner there is much more going on between those two than he could have ever imagined.

46. Spanner sometimes misses the days when Shouichi was still just a technician down in the Millefiore's tech department with him. But for some reason, in those last few months before the redhead got bumped up the ranks to eventually become a White Spell captain, he seemed, different, somehow. Like there was something weighing heavily on his mind. It was strange of Shouichi to keep things to himself, because usually, he told Spanner pretty much anything.

47. Spanner was honestly frightened to a degree when Shouichi told him he had to kill Tsuna. True, the kid was enemy #1 of the Millefiore, and would bring them down if they didn't eliminate him, but Spanner knew he was just a mechanic. He had never killed anyone or anything in his life. And truthfully, he wanted to keep it that way.

48. Spanner seriously can't remember a time when he was more afraid than when Kikyo was persuing them during Choice. It terrified him to know that if the man caught them, there would be nothing he could do to protect his best friend from being killed. Not to mention himself.

49. Spanner is quite satisfied in his new role as a technician for the Vongola famiglia. The members of Tsuna's family are nothing if not, _unique_, but then again, so is Spanner. It's nice to sort of fit in somewhere for once.

50. Spanner often contemplates his relationship with Shouichi. The two are the best of friends, but sometimes (more like a lot of the time), Spanner finds himself wanting more. There is no one on this Earth dearer to him, and he would willingly follow him to the ends of the Earth. That's just the way love is.

* * *

Explanations:

#5: He does. Seriously. I want to throw him in front of a bus. -,-

#18: Honestly, I doubt they would let kids work with Phosphorus. It is extremely regulated by government agencies, because it is highly toxic and flammable. But just for the story…LOL.

#23: Based on true events. Me and my friends are gratuitously aggressive when it comes to verbal abuse of people whooping our friends' asses at online video games.

#34: I squealed when I found out Spanner was actually British. After I begrudgingly rewrote half of this chapter because it didn't make any sense…I proceeded to come several weddings when I imagined Spanner talking with a British accent. *q* My body is ready.

#36: Spanner has a nice neck, don't you think?

#43: If I were Spanner, I would've set Byakuran on fire. That was HIS booty dammit!

*Yawn* God I'm tired! You know the drill guys! Read n' Review you lovely bunch of maniacs! It appears that Dino the Bucking Bronco is up next, so kindly leave me any questions you may have for out resident klutz/mafia boss! And I will see you all soon!

-Sushi*Bomb


	16. Dino Cavallone

A/N: What it is hoes. Nice to be back after a whole month! Welcome to the next mind-boggling Chapter of Classified Information!

So firstly, as you all may or may not know, June 17th-19th was MetroCon weekend, which I attended. Overall, our experience this year was, hmm…subpar. I think it was a combination of different factors that lead to us having an overall unpleasant time. For one, the hotel employees were really shitty to us this year. Which I can't really understand why, when we're paying a shit-ton of money to stay at their crappy ass hotel. Mind you, we're staying at a discounted rate. We shouldn't have to feel like we're paying almost one hundred and fifty something dollars a night to be treated with disdain by disgruntled hotel employees. Plus, the people that owned the actual convention made a whole bunch of new rules and stuff that just really put a damper on the whole experience for not just us, but a lot of other people. Not to mention we had a lot of personal problems amongst our group this year, which led to some pretty tense arguments. We finally decided to leave a day early, and I'm glad we did. I think I'm swearing off of MetroCon forever. I might just be growing out of it, but even the whole con experience, and seeing all of the cosplayers, wasn't all that amazing. Meh. Whatever.

On a lighter note, I got a new job yaaaay! I'm getting out of my shitty, minimum wage restaurant job forever! Sushi*Bomb is a career woman now! And don't worry, I'll try not to let it affect my writing, because writing is something I do as a hobby, and I love it, so I won't be quitting anytime soon.

Speaking of, I am diligently working on both revamping Chapters 1,2, and 3 of this story, as well as Fran's bio/character sketch. Truth be told, they won't be up for a while, especially Fran's story, in which I must admit the headcanon is becoming quite intricate. But I wouldn't have it any other way for my favorite character, and I promise it'll be worth the wait!

With that being said, time for some Review Q&A:

****Thanks to everyone who has recently begun reading this story and left comments on earlier chapters! I only comment on the reviews for the most recent chapter. Just thought I should mention that.****

**Miss Fabulously Feisty:** Thanks for the question, and also for that cavity-inducingly sweet compliment. It made me sparkle like a fucking Cullen! Haha XD

**Kyon-Kyon:** I love Spanner too! He's precious! And it's okay if you're secretly in love with Levi…we won't judge you for liking his muy macho mustache… Don't hit me lol

**Eloquentelegance:** Aww thank you very much madam. Everyone's got a story to tell. It's actually funny though, this series was at first meant to be just a bunch of random facts about each character, but as the chapters went on, they became more detailed, more personal. Classified Information has taken on a life of its own, really.

**Nightingale mistress:** Thanks so much! And thanks for the questions!

**Boomzgleeks:** I think I actually answered your question twice! The one point about the transformers boxers was meant to be yours, but I guess the commando one fits your question just as well, huh? Also thanks for the questions, and yes, your questions always make me laugh!

(P.S.: I totally ship Dino x Squalo now!)

**IchigoAngel:** Yeah, that whole Rapture thing was such crap. As for that one shot on Spanner and Mini-Mosca…eh…I'll keep it in mind, but I've got a list of stories that I still need to write! And yeah, I've gotten that a few times already too. A lot of people liked fem!Viper, so I'm not quite sure what to do now.

**Flying Tofu:** Oh you're most certainly welcome, and I hope you're feeling better! And thanks for all of the great questions! You must really love Dino, huh? XD

**Smiling Moon:** Yepperz! I did Spanner! (haha perverted smile) And I found that juicy bit of information on _Reborn Wiki_ (where I do a good portion of my character research), among other independent sites.

**SlingtheSlingshot:** Why thank you! I put unnecessary amounts of thought into my fanon, and it appears to be paying off quite well for me. Lol And yes, I do plan on doing a Nana Sawada chapter, as well as a Bianchi chapter. My goal is to do a chapter for every Reborn character. Let's see if I can stick to that goal. But I mainly go by votes/ requests. Unless I want to hold off on a character for a specific reason, I usually pick the character that gets the highest number of votes in people's reviews. So if you want Nana or Bianchi, just keep asking!

And…is it really marshm'A'llows? Wow. I've spelled it with an 'e' for twenty-two years, and no one told it me it was wrong. DX I feel betrayed. I can't believe this...my life is over.

**KimmyKimii:** That's really sweet of you, thank you so much.

**Reni-is-Ishida:** Spanner is pretty damn cool, huh? Indeed.

**Lulu-Ichigo:** Thanks! Spanner's britishness is wonderful, because I think Brit accents are so hot. And thank you, I'm working on them! And yes, it is summer over here in the good ol' U.S. What about over on your side of the world?

**AoiBaraka:** Thank ya kindly, and indeed I shall!

**Axellover2:** Thank you! And thanks for the sort of (?) Question!

**Cartea:** In the KHR fandom, I am actually quite fond of several of the blondes! And you're welcome. That little fact has been bothering me for the longest, and I finally snapped and decided to fix it! Lol But I agree, Viper is amazing regardless of gender. And thank you very much!

**Keraii: ** 7+ 21= Oh baby. Lol I liked fem!Viper too, and so did a lot of people apparently. But either way, Viper/Mammon's chapter doesn't really do him/her justice in my opinion, so I really want to fix it! DX

**Takara Yume:** That kind of reaction to my story being updated makes ME jump for joy. XD And I'm glad you enjoyed it so far!

**Indigo Avarice:** *SNORTS* OMG Indigo I just remembered that conversation we all had about Dino's awful hair in the TYL arc. Thanks for the (lol) questions. And thanks so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! Spanner in Optimus Prime boxers is quite a marvel, indeed.

**DatAnzKid:** I'm glad you understood Spanner's pain! XD And you're welcome! Sitting in front of a computer screen for a month sounds pretty wack haha.

**Reidluver:** Why thank you for acknowledging my superior writing skills, fallen-prince sempai. And shush up. You're questions are always great! My poetry skills leave much to be desired, but I'm still glad you appreciated it! I love it when people notice little details like that. That's why you're awesome. And you know, I sort of have this odd fascination with twins too. Is it weird that I really like Bel x Rasiel?...I mean, incest/twincest has never been my cup of tea, but for some reason, those two…Um nevermind….I'll keep my weirdness to myself.

**Nightsmoke:** Yeah, it's just easier to blame Sushi, isn't it? Haha XD But I'm sure it was you I've talked about this subject with. There are several characters in the KHR world that I think have a habit of hittin' the bong once in a while! XD

And I appreciate you pointing that out. A lot. I do a ton of research now, since I don't know a lot about most of the other characters, aside from the Varia and what not, and I'm happy that my effort shows.

**Mitchiba14:** I hope you got the job! And thanks for the questions!

**DarkeFlame:** I'm Sorry DX I'm so irresponsible! *cries* I assure you, I am not dead. I can't type from beyond the grave. Lol And thanks for the Dino questions! I hope I did alright for your favorite character!

**Cross-over-lover232:** Thank ya for the questions!

**Shougiknight:** Aww I'm sorry…I just don't see their relationship that way. And I too want an edamame gundam, even though edamame is gross as fuuuu DX

And now, on to the Bucking Bronco's chapter! Enjoy! Oh and before anyone says anything, I spell Dino's last name as Cavallone, rather than Chiavarone, because…well I don't know. It's just a personal preference, I guess. I've seen it both ways, so I don't think it matters too much. And if it does…well…shut up.

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Ffffffff….

* * *

Classified Information!

Everything you could have ever wanted to know about:

Dino Cavallone!

* * *

1. Dino Cavallone has fallen out of bed literally every single morning since he was old enough to sleep on his own. His subordinates all have a sneaking suspicion that Dino wouldn't be nearly as clumsy as he is if he hadn't fallen on his head five out of seven days a week. Oh well.

2. Dino Cavallone scrubs Enzo's shell every single morning.

3. Dino Cavallone has many cars, from all over Europe, but his favorite will always be his red Ferrari. Respect the classics man.

4. Dino Cavallone can speak perfect English. It is a necessity, since he often travels to America for both mafia-related business, as well as for personal leisure. He is also fluent in Japanese (obviously), French, German, and is in the process of learning Mandarin Chinese.

5. Dino Cavallone has injured himself so many times he's lost count. *Ahem…94,378 times…* And that's **just** with the whip. That doesn't include all of the times he's tripped, slipped, fallen down (and even _up_) stairs, spilled scalding hot things on himself (and others), fallen of off of things, walked into things (people included), etc. Dino is truly the King of Klutz.

6. Dino Cavallone has always been fond of sneakers. His favorites however, will always be the original high top Converses. This more than likely solidifies his status as a skater boy or whatever they're called, but that's alright. Chucks are just too cool not to wear in Dino's opinion.

7. Dino Cavallone used to be a bit of a momma's boy. Since his father was always away on some mafia-related business, naturally, he grew much closer to his mother.

8. Dino Cavallone was actually terrified of Squalo when they first met. His first day in the dormitory at the Boy's Academy was nerve-wrecking enough since Dino was quite shy, not to mention lacking greatly in the confidence department, and had an unfortunate tendency to say the wrong things at the wrong time. Needless to say, telling Squalo (who happened to be his **roommate**) upon his arrival that the Girl's Academy was just down the road was probably not the best thing to say to a boy with a _slight_ temper and a sword strapped to his back. That first year was quite a trying time indeed.

9. Dino Cavallone would honestly have laughed at everyone's initial reaction to Enzo's other form, be it not for the fact that when Enzo grows to the size of Godzilla, it would be best to not make jokes and laugh while running for your life.

10. Dino Cavallone sometimes wonders what Tsuna would be like as a girl. With his awkward, dorky sort of charm, Tsuna can be unintentionally adorable at times, and Dino imagines the younger man with a girly(er) high-pitched voice, boobs, and long hair, and a small smile that borders on a smirk kind of appears when he realizes he'd probably be around more often, simply to beat the boys off of his little sister.

11. Dino Cavallone has owned literally every model of every phone in existence. How he is capable of losing/dropping/ sitting on/ whipping/ crushing/ etc. every single phone he owns is even beyond him, but it's just lucky for him that a) he's a mafia boss, b) he's good with money and has plenty of it, and c) he's on a first name basis with all of the employees at AT&T. Discounts are always a good thing, and the employees don't mind giving them to Dino because they know they'll always have business as long as he's around.

12. Dino Cavallone's first thought the day he met Reborn for the first time was that he wasn't human. There was just no way to believe that _that_ little baby had the power to literally kick his ass all the way down the stairs. But as he sat in a bruised heap at the bottom of the stairs, he felt Reborn's tiny body sit atop him, sipping a cup of espresso with that little shit-eating smirk of his and nonchalantly announced that he was now his home tutor, Dino's heart sank. _He's for real._

13. Dino Cavallone has an eye for prime real estate. In addition to the Cavallone Estate in Rome, he also has a high-rise condo in Tokyo, a summer house in California, and a penthouse in downtown Manhattan in New York. Dino has been considering purchasing another condo down on South Beach too. It's nice to be able to get away sometimes, and it's even better when you have such luxurious choices.

14. Dino Cavallone actually brought Hibari with him once to Miami while on vacation. Lesson learned: Don't ever put **Kyouya Hibari** on a **crowded **beach in Florida during tourist season in the heat. Dino has never before, and never since been faced with so many potential lawsuits. How the guy got those damned tonfas past security at the airport is beyond him. Hibari just works in mysterious ways, he supposes.

15. Dino Cavallone isn't really a picky eater, but there is one thing on this Earth that he would rather pants Hibari (well, he'd pants Hibari anyway, because that would be funny, but that's another story altogether…) than ever even touch, let alone eat. Tomatoes. Insert picture of Dino projectile vomiting here. Yes, he hates them **that** much.

16. Dino Cavallone was Squalo's first kiss, and consequently the reason Squalo became a homophobe. All he wanted to know was how it felt to kiss, and since there weren't any girls at their school, Dino figured his best friend was a suitable substitute to experiment with. But by the loud shriek, mile long list of obscenities and the fist in his nose… obviously, Squalo didn't share his opinion or…_ahem_... 'burning desires.'

17. Dino Cavallone was actually a little afraid of Hibari when they first met. At first, he didn't mind the frigid glares and lack of conversation so much… that is until a set of steel tonfas entered the frame. Immediately after shitting several bricks, Dino pondered the codes of conduct for Japanese schools, because apparently by Namimori's standards, steel tonfas are appropriate tools of learning. What?

18. Dino Cavallone's fear however, despite his initial trepidation towards the volatile prefect, over time grew into an insatiable curiosity. Kyouya Hibari was powerful, yes, but Dino would often wonder what else there was to him. What fueled that desire to fight? Who was Hibari, really? His answer would become apparent over the ten years that he's known him.

19. Dino Cavallone actually doesn't have his driver's license. It sucks being twenty-two with only a permit, but Romario will never let him drive by himself. The man insists it's because he cares, but Dino knows that it's not him he's really worried about…it's _everyone else_.

20. Dino Cavallone can't understand why everyone has such a problem with his hair. Ten years is a long time, and he couldn't have that shaggy skater hair forever, right? He himself thinks he looks quite mature with his shorter hair. Despite this, however, he's considering growing it back out. Everyone constantly asking him about his hair is growing quite irritating, and the last straw came when, during the Byakuran ordeal, he had the opportunity to meet Hibari's past self, and the first thing the boy asked him was: "What the hell did you do to your head, herbivore?"

21. Dino Cavallone was even trying to grow a goatee at one point. He still insists that he would look quote/unquote 'badass' with a bit of chin scruff, to which Hibari promptly responded: "You'll look even more badass in a full-body cast after I bite you to death and shave it off."

22. Dino Cavallone is perfectly content with being a Sky Flame user. The Sky Flame has always run in his family, and he can't help but feel a sense of pride in the Cavallone legacy of generations before when he runs a thumb over the large gem encased in the center of his ring.

23. Dino Cavallone, despite his 'skater-boy' style, is actually a terrible skateboarder. And that's _with_ Romario and the others around. If they're absent and Dino is in your immediate vicinity with a skateboard and a smile…a call to your insurance agent would be **highly** recommended.

24. Dino Cavallone often enjoys coming to Namimori simply to sit on the roof with Hibari. As much as the other man will deny it and demand that he leave, Dino can see the emptiness in Hibari's threats. It appears that he makes them so often they've become automatic, almost compulsive, like something will happen if he doesn't make a threat. But regardless, Dino just laughs them off and takes a patient seat along the railing next to the younger man, and the two sit in comfortable silence as Hibari watches over his school like a hawk.

25. Dino Cavallone was honestly quite baffled when Reborn gave him Enzo in lieu of Leon, like he had wanted. Reborn simply said it was because Enzo was the perfect representation of who Dino was: someone who looked unassuming, but could become larger than life and overwhelm anyone who stood before him, if given the right (or wrong) reason too. Too bad Reborn meant the 'larger than life' part **literally**.

26. Dino Cavallone spent the first few days with Reborn running and hiding. It was safe to say that Reborn was some evil demon right out of Hell in Dino's mind, and he didn't care if he had to spend the rest of his life in hiding. To him, that was better than undergoing Reborn's legendarily brutal training regimen. But Reborn found him every single time. And beat his ass for running. Every. Single. Time. After nearly two weeks, Dino gave up. You can't outrun a demon, especially one like Reborn.

27. Dino Cavallone will never ever admit this, because Dino is adamant that he is not a pedophile, but he may have had some…thoughts…about Hibari during the time they spent training together. He would never act on them of course, but sometimes, that awkward tension that hung in the air when Romario wasn't around was so unbearable that he would purposely provoke Hibari into a fight just to keep his mind occupied.

28. Dino Cavallone believes Leon gave him a bullwhip as his weapon of choice for many different reasons. Dino has always had a sort of unconscious uneasiness with guns, swords, and other traditional weapons, so when it came time to choose one, he supposes Leon was attuned to those subconscious fears. Not that Dino minds, however. A whip requires a certain level of natural ability and finesse, not to mention near perfect accuracy, precision and hand-eye coordination. In short, it was a challenging weapon to master in its own right. And it was a challenge that Dino really liked, and ultimately rose to meet.

29. Dino Cavallone …has occasionally used that whip for more than fighting. What? It's not like you didn't know. Don't look so surprised. Dino is kinky as fuck, and no one knows that better than Hiba- I mean noooo, what are you talking about? Dino is innocent, like a baby lamb…uhh…

30. Dino Cavallone has sometimes wondered about the implications of his and Hibari's weapons. As a grown man, Dino is no stranger to sex and the different tastes and things that appeal to others. He sometimes wonders if he was given a whip because he was naturally dominant or something along those lines…but then he looks at Hibari, with those handcuffs, and wonders if by that line of reasoning that that would mean Hibari was submissive? It's not like he can just ask or anything. Unless he wants to die.

31. Dino Cavallone's favorite memory of him with Enzo is the first time he discovered that Enzo was a snapping turtle. Long story short, Dino accidentally sat on his little turtle once, because being the klutz that he is, he obviously wasn't looking where he was sitting, and well…Enzo didn't take too kindly to being smothered by Dino's ass. Said ass now has a scar on the left cheek that looks a lot like a bite-mark. Despite this, Dino still laughs about it. After the scar healed, it was actually pretty funny.

32. Dino Cavallone got the nickname 'Bucking Bronco' from Reborn. All Dino is willing to tell anyone is that this particular episode that led up to his 'christening' did not involve any sort of horse whatsoever. It was more like him at his senior graduation. Hint: Reborn was present, along with his whip, and somehow he ended up riding his principal around the auditorium like a bull in china shop. God, please just don't ask. The memories are bad enough.

33. Dino Cavallone's early months in the academy have become something of a blur for the most part, but every once in a while, he remembers little things that make him chuckle. One memory that stands out vividly among the rest is the day he decided to play a prank on Squalo in gym class. The two had had a bit of a disagreement the night before, and that morning Dino had been more than a little peeved at the swordsman. It's hard to keep the snorts and chuckles suppressed when he remembers Squalo just standing with his back to him, minding his own business, and him running up and pantsing him in front of the entire class, boxers and all. Squalo probably doesn't hold that memory as fondly as he does.

34. Dino Cavallone, for some odd reason, was extremely superstitious when he was young. He once stepped on a crack while getting out of a limo at school, and Squalo told him that he probably just paralyzed his mom. Dino proceeded to cry hysterically and repeatedly call his mother's phone (until he accidentally lost his grip and somehow it ended up in the school fountain…?). Squalo just stood by cracking up the whole time. Let it be mentioned that Dino was also a bit guillible as a kid too.

35. Dino Cavallone lost that silly, guillible side of him however once his mother actually did die. He remembers that he wasn't even able to cry at her funeral, and he also remembers that it was raining really hard that day. But what he remembers most vividly was that it was the first and last time he had ever seen his father cry. Needless to say, Squalo never picked on him after that.

36. Dino Cavallone has entertained the thought of a battle between his family and Tsuna's once before. But when he really thinks about it, he's not sure how well his men, wonderful and strong as they are, would fair against Tsuna's X-Burner, or Gokudera's bombs, Yamamoto's sword, or Mukuro's illusions, or Hibari's tonfas, or Ryohei's fists, or Lambo's lightning. With each member, Dino's grimace grows more, until he finally realizes that if that ever happened, the Cavallones would be toast.

37. Dino Cavallone adores Nana. She reminds him a lot of his own mother when she was alive, in the soft smiles and laughs, and the constant overflow of happiness and positivity. Nana really is too wonderful to be human, Dino thinks to himself, especially when she cooks Italian style cuisine just for him, just to make him feel at home. He feels nothing but gratitude to his second mother for her acceptance of him, and that is something he is sure he could never say thank you for with a bracelet dripping with diamonds or a new Mercedes-Benz. Nana is too good for material things.

38. Dino Cavallone honestly can't explain the relationship between him and Hibari. In the simplest of terms, it could sort of be classified as a 'love/hate relationship,' but in truth, it is so complicated Dino's sure that there isn't even a name for it. While it certainly had its physical aspect, their relationship is most definitely one born of respect. Kyouya Hibari lives by his own code, with extremely complex rules, and Dino knows he himself is one of the lucky few ever considered worthy of earning Hibari's trust and respect, even if the prefect has never really shown it or said it outright.

39. Dino Cavallone makes it a point to visit his mother and father's graves at least twice a year. No matter what is going on in his life at the moment, Dino always leaves those few select days open. This is one of the few times he doesn't want anyone, not even Romario or the others around him; when he sits cross-legged in front of their graves after replacing the withering bouquets of roses on each tombstone. This is a moment of intimacy that Dino can only share with the two once maginificent people now entombed in front of him. He always asks 'How's the family looking now, Dad?' with a soft smile, and pulls his coat tighter when the wind blows a bit harder in response, as if to say, 'it's perfect, kid.'

40. Dino Cavallone's tattoo is basically a visual depiction of his life's story. He's been working on it steadily since the age of sixteen and each of the intricate pieces tell a small part of his story; each picture represents something important, whether it be a significant person or life- altering event. He hasn't told anyone the real meaning behind each separate piece however, and that's simply because it's not finished yet. There's still more to Dino Cavallone's story that hasn't been told yet, and it won't be finished for a long time.

41. Dino Cavallone is one of three people that can get away with hugging/ snogging/ being overly affectionate in anyway towards Squalo. The swordsman won't let it happen without a lengthy trail of expletives and a whole lot a shoving and death threats, but the nearly imperceptible tint of red on his cheeks is completely worth it.

42. Dino Cavallone can't help but laugh sometimes at the faces Tsuna makes when Reborn shows up in one of his…outfits. Dino figures that when he was Tsuna's age, he probably made the same, if not more grotesquely exasperated faces at the sheer nonchalance of Reborn in his tutu or whatever he happens to be wearing. Sometimes he and Tsuna wish they could be just as oblivious to it as everyone else.

43. Dino Cavallone finds a new reason everyday to be proud of Tsuna. His little brother has certainly come a long way, and the road hasn't been easy. Sometimes Dino feels that he got off a lot easier than Tsuna did, simply because when he was under Reborn's tutelage, his training never meant life or death. It was never the deciding factor in his or anyone else's fate. He didn't have to face any Rokudo Mukuros, Xanxus, or Byakurans. Tsuna has overcome every single one of his adversaries, simply to protect those who have become most important to him, and Dino knows that this challenging journey will only lead Tsuna, as well as the entire Vongola Famiglia, to new heights.

44. Dino Cavallone is amazed at the level of natural ability, loyalty, not to mention the _uniqueness_, of Tsuna's family. While he never once doubted them, Tsuna and his group of misfits, as he and others have taken to calling them, have far surpassed his expectations. Over the years, Dino has seen them grow from a rag-tag group of kids; some friends, some bitter rivals, some the worst of enemies turned allies, to an elite, strong, dedicated (used in the loosest sense of the word when applied to certain individuals), influential mafia family, with all of it's members ingrained in some aspect of the mafia world. Vongola Decimo and his powerful yet eccentric Famiglia have turned the mafia world completely on it's side.

45. Dino Cavallone has never felt the same type of overwhelming coldness as the day he went to Hibari's house for the first time. Up until then, he had never completely understood why Hibari was the way he was, but that day, everything sort of fell into place. As much as he claims to be disgusted by the 'crowding herbivores,' Dino saw that in his own way, Hibari longed for it. No one, not even someone as strong as Hibari could possibly stomach being alone in such a cold, uninviting home every single day.

46. Dino Cavallone didn't think twice about saving Squalo during the Ring Conflict. In that instant, he didn't see the cocky swordsman who was just humbled by someone half his age; he didn't see the man who defeated Tyr, nor did he see the man who was supposed to be the Commander of the Varia. Dino only saw the reflection of who Squalo used to be: the young, belligerent loner who had a big mouth and a bigger attitude, the one person that really accepted him, albeit reluctantly…the one person he could safely call his friend during those years at the academy. And right then, he needed him more than anyone else.

47. Dino Cavallone is not one to cry often, if ever. But the day Reborn died…Dino honestly can't remember anything else, other than locking himself in his bathroom, turning the tap on and collapsing over the sink in tears. It was like losing a parent all over again. Dino had long forgotten that type of pain, and that day, it came rushing back in an unwelcome fury.

48. Dino Cavallone sees a lot of himself in Tsuna. Meeting 'No-Good Tsuna' brought back a flood of memories, some good, some bad, some so embarrassing he shudders at the very thought of them. Dino was forced to remember what he used to be like at Tsuna's age: awkward, shy, wandering around with his head in the clouds, wondering just what he would make of himself, or if he even _would_ make anything of himself. But he also sees the good things: Tsuna had the same compassion, the same need to belong, the same need to protect those that were most important to him. And then a smile snakes it's way onto his face, because he knows that Tsuna already has everything he needs to become a great man, and Dino is proud to be given the privilege of calling the younger man his little brother.

49. Dino Cavallone doesn't feel the need to say this out loud, since he imagines that it is fairly obvious, but Romario is probably the most important person in his life. He's been in the man's care since as long as he can remember, and their relationship has sprouted from one of a simple bodyguard and his clumsy young charge, to that of a father and son. After the death of his father, Romario filled that role so perfectly that Dino sometimes wonders if Romario was actually the one meant to be his father.

50. Dino Cavallone, as much as he cares for Tsuna and the others in the Vongola, puts his subordinates above everyone else. In his eyes, there is no finer group of men in the mafia, or on Earth, for that matter. They've stuck with him through thick and thin, the good and the bad, and Dino has no idea where he'd be without them. As far as Dino is concerned, they're blood, and blood is forever.

* * *

So how was Dino's chappie-chap? If you enjoyed it, please leave me a nice review!

Okay, for next chapter, I actually want to switch it up, and do a female character! For me, it's between Haru and Bianchi. So leave me a vote guys! Along with some questions if you don't mind for the character that you want. You guys are also welcome to leave questions at any time via PM or on facebook if you've added my RP account!

And before I forget, I noticed that a few people asked for Daemon Spade in their reviews. I actually want to hold up on ol' Spade for a while, since he seems to play a major role in the latest Reborn chapters. I want to wait until I've read those chapters so I can gain a better understanding of his character, not to mention develop my headcanon for him. So yeah.

Well, that's all I've got for now lovelies. See ya next time!

~Sushi*Bomb~


End file.
